Dear Readers -When an advice columnist gets swamped with feedback about how to handle in-laws, infidelity, or porn addicts, it's no big surprise. But pesky telemarketers? (For August 18 column, see www.ellieadvice.com, click on Archives). Who knew how agitating this "relationship" could get?

Your onslaught of responses range from polite to feisty, and from using the system to outdoing callers' annoying tactics:

Reader - "Register your phone number with the "Do Not Call List." The only sales promotions you should get (after about a month) are from the businesses and their affiliates that you deal with, e.g. your phone company or a charity you've previously supported. It's drastically cut our calls by 90 - 95%!"

Reader - "It worked, once, to tell the caller that I must decide whether to use my little money for a roof over my head or food to keep me alive. It doesn't always work."

Reader - "I've had the experience of being on both sides of the telephone and have worked for several telemarketing firms. There are many scammers, but also some reputable companies who follow the rules and have very good products/services to offer.

"What would make someone do these jobs? Most telemarketing firms have the flexibility in scheduling for people like actors and musicians to take time off to do what they do."

Reader - "My polite discouragement method: First, I remember that I'm speaking to a human, someone who likely took the job because they need the money. What they don't need is another insult. I keep the smile on my face (smiles can be heard), my voice firm. I cut them off quickly with a simple "I'm not interested."

"If I am interested, I ask for a web site. I won't listen to a sales pitch. If they ask to call back, I answer that I'll call THEM if I change my mind.

"On rare occasions I've had very dedicated salespeople persist. To them I say I'll never be a sale and they should continue to the next number. I don't want to treat people like garbage, but I don't want to waste my time, either."

Reader - "I make the call more annoying for them than it is for me. I say, "Just a minute, please" and put the phone down, making sure they can hear the television in the background. After five minutes, I say "Are you still there?" and put the phone down again. If they are (though they usually aren't) I say yet again "Hang on - I'm almost done." They usually figure it out."

Reader - "Realize that even though you've enrolled on the Do Not Call registry, you can still receive calls from certain companies with which you have some other relationship. In this case, if you call back to the number from which they called, you'll usually be directed to an automatic service with which you can remove your phone number from this organization's database."

Reader -  "I get creative and have some fun. I say, "Oh, while you're on the line, would you be interested in having someone come to your house and give you an estimate on heating or air conditioning?"

"They usually end the conversation quickly. Sometimes, if the conversation continues, I'll say, "Well, they also offer service upgrades and a number of other electrical services, including new fireplaces or burglar alarms. I'd be happy to have someone call you and give you a list of how they can benefit you." They're gone."

Reader - "I learned this response from the local Royal Canadian Mounted Police. It's been totally effective:

"I'm going to interrupt you right there. I'm not interested. Remove my name from your distribution list now." An RCMP officer told me that if they call again, they could be charged with harassment."

Reader - "I've had nearly 100% compliance with these responses: "How do you spell your name? And your last name? Spell your immediate supervisor's name. I'm requesting that you put me on your internal No-Call list. If I receive another call from your company, I'll speak to your supervisor."

"Here's another: "Since I'm on the National No-Call List, are you prepared to pay the $15,000 fine on behalf of your call center? If not, please insure that your company doesn't call me again."

Reader - "Telemarketers must be the most hated people and, yet they're just doing their job."