My friend’s been dating this guy for four months, whom all our friends and me hate.

She says they have fun together and he's nice when they're alone. But at school, he's mean to everyone.

He makes super insensitive comments about people. He also loves getting in the middle of everyone's business.

They’re always almost breaking up but then never do.

I hate it when they kiss in front of us because it feels like he's rubbing their relationship in our face.

When she’s around him, she insults us and ditches us. I think he's turning her against us but we really don't want to lose her.

She knows we hate him, but she doesn't care because she thinks he makes her happy. She thinks that we start the drama between them.

I really want them to break up and don't know what to do.

What's worse, she has anxiety and I know he does all of the wrong things.

I'm not jealous that she's in a relationship; she’s been in many before. But this is her longest relationship. She might be trying to prove us all wrong by staying with him.

Frustrated Friend

Here’s what a really caring friend should do: Back off and take the posse with you.

If she’s trying to prove you’re all wrong, she’ll think she’s succeeded. She’ll then be able to focus on who and what he really is. If it’s not working, she can end it without embarrassment.

Or, if they stay together longer, your gang can stop trying to exert a negative influence. You’ll either accept your friend’s relationship and try to understand what she sees in this guy, or, your friendship will distance for awhile.

Since you’re all still in school, there are likely lots of changes in attitude and perceptions ahead… for all of you.

I'm great friends with everyone in my close group but they're all really close to this other girl.

She's pretty, smart, and socially acceptable, unlike me who’s loud, opinionated, and not big on appearance.

Most like her better than me. The two of us go way back to age six.  She's so nice to me and everyone else. Yet, I hate her.

Maybe it’s because every time I talk to someone, they turn around midway just to talk to her. I can't stand it.

Am I a bad person? Am I allowed to tell my group? Whenever I hang out with them, they invite her. It makes me so angry

We're only 15-16 years old. What do you think?

One Too Many

I think it’s tougher to be your age than many people realize. There’s so much group pressure to be popular, and so little solid self-confidence in most of you.

You probably don’t even realize that those girls who seem the most sure of themselves, are covering for their own insecurities.

Your friend from age six is likely unaware that you hate her. That’s a good thing, because you’re really feeling badly about yourself, not her… like you said, she’s so nice to you.

Meanwhile, you’re in this group that you like so it’s time to stop judging whom each person likes the most or less.

Be friendly to all, and not mean – don’t treat friendship like a survivor test in the jungle. It should feel good or you’re with the wrong group. OR, you’re way too anxious and need to talk to your parents, or a school counselor, or someone trusted, about this.

FEEDBACK Regarding parents accompanying their teenage daughter buying clothes (Jan. 29):

Reader – “These parents are overly and destructively concerned with their daughter's body image and have sent her the message that bigger is bad.

“This has compounded her lack of confidence, resulting in her acting out in the mall.

“As a mother of three teen and tween children, and a high-school teacher, I say this is about accepting their daughter.

“Maybe she’s dressing in baggier clothes to resist society’s image pressures, and also resist her parents' image consciousness.

“She’s old enough to go shopping with a friend, after a discussion beforehand allowing the parents to set reasonable limits on what’s needed.

“They cannot let their own anxieties about their daughter's image override wise and loving parenting, which means accepting their daughter in what they perceive to be unflattering clothes.

“Clothes don't matter. The well-being and confidence of a young woman does.”