My boyfriend/true love, who's 60, has limited understanding of the techno-communications world. He has an international network of friends, associates, and colleagues who contact him daily on his business Blackberry.

His daughter, 19, doesn't respect him and abuses him verbally, emotionally, physically, and financially. She asked for his private passwords and codes for his Blackberry and he gave them to her.

Now, he has a Facebook account, which she set up and runs on his behalf. He has no idea how she's using and misusing it.

The problem: Over 1,000 of his contacts which whom she's communicating, believe it's him (not his daughter). She asked to be my friend so I get notices and photos of her in all sorts of compromising circumstances sent directly to his Facebook contacts.

She took a photo of her trusting father looking like a beaten lost soul, which she posted to all his business associates with an extremely insulting caption.

His love for his only child makes him blind to her abusive out-of-control behavior.

How can I get him to understand he's in harm's way, and must stop her now?

Greatly Worried Girlfriend

You need to lift this serious problem out of the complicated arena in which you and his daughter compete for his affections (even if you don't consciously "compete," she likely does and is showing it by acting out this way).

Take the "technology" problem to a techie. Hire someone who consults in these matters as a gift to your boyfriend, on the basis that he needs to have a better grasp of this area for his business sake.

Let the expert walk him through his Facebook and come across these posts. Do not get involved; simply be concerned when and if he tells you about what's been revealed to him.

Also, let him come to his own conclusions about how to handle things, and what to do about his daughter's actions. Do NOT talk to her about it yourself. She's clearly very angry, and you're best to keep at a distance during this time. If your relationship with this man is to continue, you'll have to find some way to also relate to her.

My sons are 29 and 25. Their father and I have been divorced for a very long time. He never speaks to them, ignores them at Christmas and birthdays.

Since we separated, it was obvious to me that he wasn't interested in them. He's become increasingly distant - last spoke to them three years ago.

I cannot accept this in my head. My heart breaks for my boys who, knowing their father isn't interested, don't wish to make a move.

We have no other family here. I know it s not my fault but I think about it constantly and wish he'd be a father and friend to them. They are good young men. How do I get past this heartache?

Distraught

Your sons have grown up without his involvement for so long, that, while they recognize this isn't the ideal, it's been "normal" for them.

Your heartache is about your own feelings... so hopefully you keep it as a private hurt.

It is NOT your fault. Whatever the reason, his distance has nothing to do with you.

Yet, despite your knowing this, "heartache" is how you beat yourself up. Stop it. Maintain happy ties and memories for your sons with whatever you've shared - food, songs, books, movies, some family friends, etc.

Growing up with a caring mom can still be a wonderful background of its own.

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