Recently, my 11-year-old son came home from a sleepover at camp, telling me a story all about tea-bagging. I had never heard the expression before so I didn’t know what he was talking about. He was laughing and talking with his older brother, who was also laughing.

Finally, I asked them to explain to me what exactly they were talking about. When I heard, I was appalled. What kind of an activity is that, and how is that funny? I have a mind to call the camp and lash out.

Am I overreacting?

Tea Bag

I had to look up this expression as I have also never heard it. Yes, for those who don’t know, this is a sexual act, when naked. When performed with clothes on, it is either done as a prank, or a form of bullying.

Either way, if an 11-year-old is involved, it is unacceptable – whether he was the one doing or the one receiving. I strongly believe you need to call the camp and have a word with the owners/directors.

Fortunately, it sounds from your description of your son’s retelling, that it was all done in jest and no one was hurt.

I’d still call the camp.

My girlfriend and I have been having sex for about four of the seven months we’ve been together. One night, after we were done, we both fell asleep. In the morning, we panicked because we couldn’t find the condom. We ran to the drugstore and got the morning-after pill and swore that wouldn’t happen again.

As disgusting as it sounds, I had taken the condom off but was too asleep to remember. We didn’t see it in the morning because it was on the floor, under the bed.

But even after our very careful condom-wearing, she recently took an at-home pregnancy test that showed she’s pregnant. We were both freaking out and agreed to go to a doctor together. The doctor did some blood work and thankfully, the test was a false positive and she is NOT pregnant.

But now she’s afraid to have sex with me!

What do I do?

Pregnant not pregnant

I understand her trepidation. You two sound young and I would not have wanted to get pregnant in my teens or even early 20s with someone I was only involved with for under a year. That is not a judgement, just my own feelings.

You two need to talk. Do you really like each other? Do you want to continue this relationship and see where it goes? I strongly suggest you go back to the doctor you saw (if you liked them) and learn about better, more reliable forms of birth control. Has your girlfriend considered going on the birth control pill or getting an IUD put in?

Sex is a wonderful thing between two people in a relationship, but there are repercussions if it’s not performed safely.

I am dating a woman who is really into role play and untraditional sex. I’m not sure how I feel about it all and am very uncomfortable. I like her but I feel as though I’m failing a test every time we get sexy.

What do you suggest?

Not Acting

This woman may need more than you can give in this particular area. That’s OK. That probably wasn’t the first thing you talked about when you first started dating. Now that your relationship is moving along, it’s become an issue.

Talk to her and tell her how you feel. Ask her if you can go slow, try less out-of-the-ordinary sexual activities, and see what happens. She may not be a good match for you and vice versa.

FEEDBACK Regarding not enough (May 31):

Reader – “We males are simple creatures.  We are definitely NOT telepathic. We need to be told and often also shown. In all likelihood, her boyfriend would welcome the education and instructions.

“I am questioning the age of this couple.  To me they sound somewhat young and may also need to develop communication skills.

“Once it’s been discovered, we men receive great pleasure by giving great pleasure. Seeing my partner totally getting into it is a HUGE turn-on.

“To this boyfriend I say, learn the signs that your lady is totally and genuinely into it.  Once you see it, you will always know.  She will NEVER fake it again.  And she will be very thankful that you have figured out how to make her feel as good as you feel.”

Lisi - Shared sex, between two people, is heightened when BOTH people are enjoying giving and getting.