When my marriage ended, I only shared details of what led to the separation with very close family members and friends.
Several years later, most people have been unconditionally supportive of me. I know that if I revealed my former husband's behaviour towards me, I'd get even more sympathy. But I'm trying to take the higher road, especially since we have young children, and I'm trying to keep things amicable.
But I feel frustrated when acquaintances push me about what went wrong, or start assuming things and giving advice.
So far, I've avoided their questions or hurtful comments. How do I respond to these people?

- On the High Road

Stay up there, as you've taken the far better path for your children's well-being.
They don't need to hear from others - as gossip circulates - stories of their father's negative behaviour. That information could make them feel divided in their loyalties, guilty by association, or ashamed.
Acquaintances need no further explanation than, "I appreciate your interest,
but I've moved on and no longer want to talk about it." You might add, "These are deeply personal issues."
Forget the sympathy factor; People who aren't that close to you are digging for dirt, or comparisons to their own life.
As for their advice, thank them, but say you've already worked things out in the way you think best. Then change the subject.

I'm 18, with my boyfriend for five months. I've always been more independent; but my little free time is dedicated to him. However, he has much more free time, which gives him more time to sulk when I'm not around.
He's still in school, takes on no part-time job (although I've suggested it many times) and rarely goes out with other guys. I maintain a full-time job plus family obligations and night classes.
He gets angry on the days I can't see him. I've been sympathetic to how he's feeling, have gone out of my way to drive him to class, pick him up, or see him in a free hour. We spend one day in the week and all weekends together with only each other.
If I get short with him about his sulking, his anger goes through the roof. We'd planned on moving in together, and I love him as a friend and a boyfriend, yet I don't know if this all-encompassing relationship can really work.

- No Time to Love

Stop talking about moving to a next, more committed phase when this one is already problematic.
All couples have some conflicts - whether about time together, money issues, etc. - but if one partner reacts only with moods and anger, there's not much flexibility for working to improve things.
He wants more of your time, but you don't have it. You want him to be more self-reliant (and show more ambition, too, by working), but he does nothing about it.
A dating relationship that feels too "all-encompassing" can become a controlling relationship when you live together, and he goes into a funk
whenever you wish to see your family and friends.
Either he gives up the sulking - which has you running around in circles to accommodate him - or you give up the sulker.

Dear Readers: In my Feb. 6 column, a reader who was dining out wrote of being upset when a mother changed her baby's diaper on the restaurant table next to her.
I, of course, excused babies and their Moms for accidental elimination mishaps, but responded that a purposeful diaper change on a table where others will eat, and next to diners, was unhygienic and rude. However, many young mothers rushed to report that not all restaurants provide diaper change areas in their washrooms (I agree they should); and that using a change pad on the table is not so unhygienic.
But the original writer didn't mention use of a pad. Nor did the Mom explain to diners next to her, that there was no change area.
I've recently had to change a squirming baby and toddler in restaurants, airports, and other public places. I still believe that it's always possible to 1) be discreet (eg. use the bench or chair in a restaurant, or your stroller), 2) explain both your situation and the baby's needs in a way that shows consideration for others, 3) ask the restaurant staff if they have a back room.
Nevertheless, babies' needs are paramount.