I have just had the most incredible summer fling and I’m torn as to how to feel. I really like this woman – she’s gorgeous, fun, sexy and interesting. We met through friends and spent the month of July just loving the summer. We called our “romance” a summer fling from our first kiss.
Now that it’s August, the clock is ticking, and we know that the end of the summer means the end of the relationship. But why? I think I really like her. I’m going to be sucker punched if we just end it on the last day of summer.
The thing is, I have no idea how she feels. I can only guess that she’s ready for it to be over because I can feel her starting to pull away. I don’t know. I’m confused.
What should I do?
Summer Lovin’
You need to do what every couple needs to do, and that is, TALK to each other. Name it. Call yourself out. Let it all out.
In your situation, you have absolutely NOTHING to lose! You agreed to have this easygoing summer fling, and it’s been great! Summer’s coming to an end, and you feel she’s pulling away. Maybe she’s just protecting herself from getting hurt? Maybe she likes you a little more than she wanted to and/or thought she would?
Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Tell her you like her more than you’re supposed to for a summer fling. Ask how she feels. Be prepared for the worst, which is, that she says it was JUST a summer fling. You can handle that because you have already planned for that.
If she says anything different, it can only be better! Go for it!
My sister and I went out shopping the other day. We weren’t looking for anything specific, just spending time together. In one store, we found the most awesome gift for our dad. I said, “let’s just buy it for him, just because.” But she insisted we could only buy it if we saved it for an occasion, such as his birthday, which is in October.
I don’t understand that mentality, in this situation. It’s not just a fun pair of socks we can stash away until Christmas. It’s a gift for now, to be used now, in the warmth of the summer sun. Why would we wait to give it to him?
Strange Sister
Perhaps the item was above and beyond your sister’s gift-giving budget for the year. Perhaps she really didn’t like it but didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Perhaps she is angry with your dad about something and not in the mood to give him a gift for no reason.
Who knows?
But if you really think he’ll like it, and you can afford to get it on your own, then buy it for him and give it to him whenever you choose. You and your sister don’t have to go halfsies on everything.
I hate my job and want to quit. The problem is that I work for my uncle. What should I do?
Miserable
Confide in someone close to you, preferably older and wiser, and who knows your uncle. Tell them how you’re feeling and why. Ask them what they think.
I don’t believe you should do anything that makes you miserable. Working for family can be extra tricky because it’s hard to separate work from not work. Figure out what you really want – is it a different job within the company? More money? Or just out?
Then talk to your uncle and tell him how you’re feeling. He may have a solution…. Or he may be furious. It’s the risk you take.
FEEDBACK Regarding too much sass (May 24):
Reader – “People do just change, especially if they’re moving into their teens! I stayed at á friend’s house for a week, the summer before I turned 13. My mother said I went away á child and came back á teenager. Not because anything bad happened but because the friend introduced me to rock n roll. And moving into that culture introduced me to the wider teen culture as portrayed on television and movies — and that meant plenty of sass.
“It’s not just that hormones bring changes. It’s that there is a whole teenage culture, much more influential than it was in my day waiting to receive and re-educate its new recruits. Plus, it’s a culture that wields influence even before the actual teen years.
“Of course, the mother should check to see if anything bad happened to her daughter to cause this change. But it’s unlikely.”