My husband’s attractive and loves me and we have two daughters under age six; however, over the past year, I’ve fallen in love with a co-worker who’s twice my age.     
      I have anxiety attacks whenever I think about leaving my marriage, but I’m also hopeful that my feelings will change and I’ll once again be the spouse my husband deserves.      
      Meantime, he senses something. My kids and their future are very important to me and I’d like them to grow up in a stable home environment.
      - Your Opinion?

Your better instincts and “hopes” are for the marriage and children. Put that into action, instead of running from it, through an affair that can end disastrously for you and your family.    
      An older man who can take care of you appears more appealing than the guy with expectations of dinner plus your other responsibilities waiting at home.     
      But leaving your marriage won’t end those responsibilities. It’ll just make your parenting role harder – e.g., to try and hold onto your children’s love, guide them through a period of great instability and likely resentment, share support expenses with your husband, and do much more on your own.    
      You CAN meet your hopes and recommit to being a wife and mother, if you stop the fantasy escape at work and start fulfilling family dreams at home. Talk to Hubby and ask for help to be a true team, with both of you sharing the house and child-rearing responsibilities, as well as having date nights and developing deeper intimacy.    
      Get marriage counselling together, so you’re on the same page about what your relationship needs.

I’m a New Zealand man, 28, visiting Canada to work and travel around for two years. Unexpectedly, I fell in love in Toronto eight months ago and have remained here with my boyfriend, 26. We’ve both had numerous partners before, yet agree that this is seemingly a perfect match.
      However, I’ll need to return to NZ when my visa expires next year. His family are wonderful, yet I yearn to return and be nearer my family and further my career.
      I’m angry that if we both had the same nationalities things would be perfect. What’s your view on international relationships? I don’t see my long-term future in Canada and he doesn’t see his in New Zealand.    
      He’s close to his family and wants to be near them. As my parent’s age and my siblings have children, I’d like to be nearer to them. There seems no way to compromise on this.      
      Do I continue this relationship? I sense that one of us will ultimately feel compromised. We’ve both never felt this way about a partner before.
      - Confused

You’ve both invested many months in this relationship, though knowing that parting’s inevitable … for a while. When your visa expires and you leave, that’s when you two will be better able to consider future options.    
      There are still variables ahead: You may find your career interests and opportunities back home different from what you expected or thought you wanted; your boyfriend may visit you after some months, and find himself drawn to remain.     
      It IS possible to maintain an international relationship for some time – with each of you committed to visiting the other for periods such as a month or more – but in time, the separations usually become difficult.    
      IF neither of you changes your outlook, then the experiment will be over. But, at this stage, and with such strong feelings, it’s worth a try.

My daughter’s loves a man who’s 10 years older, comes from a different country, culture, religion and language. He says he’ll learn our language, culture etc. When asked what religion the children would follow, he answered that they’ll follow both.    
      Will this marriage work? I love my daughter and will do anything to make her happy but I see her as the loser. The situation brings me great sadness and fear.
      - Distraught

Though diversity is common in our society, it’s still up to each couple whether a cross-cultural marriage involving widely different backgrounds, will work.     
      But, just as in marriages between people of like upbringing, family support and acceptance can have a huge, positive effect.    
      If the man is decent, sincere, loving and committed, then your daughter’s choice deserves the best chance possible. You can contribute greatly by learning more about your future son-in-law’s culture/religion etc., and gently introducing him to yours.