I dated a man who was legally separated. We talked nightly, spent weekends together, had sex. He said he didn't want a relationship until he was divorced, but I said we couldn't keep sleeping together, then.      
      So, he’d call me his "girl;” he even said that once his divorce was final he’d have a proper relationship with me. He never cared that it hurts me to do the things we were doing and not be considered a couple.     
      He’s phoned to say he’s now ready for a relationship, is seeing someone he picked up in a bar, and I’m now “not his type.” He also said he might even get back together with his soon-to-be ex-wife.     
      Should I continue hoping he’ll come back to me or should I call it quits? I truly love him and most times I feel that from him, too.
      - Totally Confused

Stop kidding yourself! Since he’s stopped fooling you, he’s now clear that you were his “Bridge Babe” – someone he needed for physical comfort, in between marriage and a real relationship. You bought his cheap double-talk about  “un-relationship sex.”     
      But don’t be too hard on yourself. His self-absorbed behaviour is common to some newly separated people who cannot stand being alone. They lean on the closest person who’ll believe their “need” is love. Tell this user Bye-Bye. He’s moved on, and so should you.

Some 25years ago, a longtime close friend, then mid-30s, called from another city where he’d moved, saying he was having serious tax and marital problems and needed short-term financing.     
      My wife and I agreed that, since we could help, we should send a few thousand dollars. We were clear that it wasn’t a gift but a loan, as he’d requested. He signed a note promising repayment.    
      Several years latter, he called and we bailed him out, again. He’s now on his feet with a good job. However, there’s never been discussion or offer of repayment. He holidays, dresses well and plays the big shot, but appears to have forgotten our “loan.”      
      Our children in university work menial jobs to manage; I no longer earn the income I made previously. I could use the money owed. My wife never raises the loan, but has done without, while my “friend” enjoys our money.      
      I know I should ask for the dough! I write this caution to your readers: Lending money to a friend is often a gift you didn’t intend to give.
      - Stiffed

Your cautionary tale has been experienced by many, and often also applies to lending money to relatives. In those cases, however, the resentment may be even stronger, since the connection through family continues.     
      Your tolerance in this case – 25 years of an outstanding loan - is notable. But it also begs some questions: Since you have a signed note from this person, why haven’t you sent a formal letter (copy to a lawyer) asking for payment, once you saw your “friend” was well able to afford it?    
      A “gift” of loaned money is admirable when you know the recipient can’t pay back; it’s understandable when you’re trying to preserve a relationship. But you just let this scammer off the hook with no repercussions to his conscience or his bank account.
      Since it appears he’s no longer on your list of buddies, I say: Call in your loan! Even if he doesn’t respond, he’ll at least know that you know he’s little different from a thief.

How does one decide what’s an “affordable” gift – based on income, or also what’s in the bank? I'm currently unemployed, receiving just enough to get by. My savings are the only thing to save me during my upcoming retirement years.      
      But if interest rates remain low, I’ll be digging into my savings. My friends are generally better off than I am and when I’m giving gifts, I hate to look cheap.
      - Money Musings

Friends know that you’re unemployed; they may also know you have savings, but discretion should keep you from stating amounts.    
      Also, anyone who’s dealing with finances today knows that interest rates are minimal. Children and avid readers always appreciate books; the same goes for music CD’s and DVD’s.     
      For weddings, check the couple’s registry for practical kitchen needs. It’s the caring that counts in the selection, not the cost and those who think otherwise aren’t true friends.