My girlfriend of five years (living together for three of them) is 26, I’m 25.  

This past year her desire to have sex has diminished to rarely. She says she still enjoys it when we do, but never feels in the mood. She doesn’t know why and says she wishes she could fix it.

Where has her sex drive gone?

Is it me, or do people this young lose their desire for sex?

- Cold Times

She can’t “fix it” if she doesn’t try, and the first step is for her to look at her/your lifestyle. 

If she’s started a new job, is unhappy in her current workplace, has heavy stress from family, finances, whatever, it can affect libido.

Ditto, if you are the one under stress and bringing it home to your relationship. All this is natural – and common to young people who feel under pressure, even if it’s self-imposed - but needs to be discussed and a plan made to try to combat it.

A changed sex drive is also an alert to have a medical check-up. Since she’s young, it’s unlikely there are major hormonal changes, but still possible.

Also weight gain and lack of fitness can cause some people to feel less sexual drive.

You two may also have to examine the quality and nature of your relationship. Start planning “date” nights, changing some of your intimacy “routines,” and getting out for fun that lifts your spirits.

I’ve been living with my boyfriend for two years. 

Initially, we had a hard time because his ex was always causing him grief. We’ve changed phone numbers, he’s bought us a house and things have been going great.

When we got together, there was a lot of trouble between him and her in the courts. I stood beside him all the way. They’re now ordered to stay away from each other. A year ago he filed for legal separation, and she wouldn’t respond. Now, she’s got a lawyer, after him for the separation, but she’s not being fair about anything: She’s not returning belongings, or tools, though they’ve been apart for two years. This is again causing friction between us.

Am I being greedy, because I just want her to give him his divorce? I thought I was getting a ring for Christmas, but he says not until she’s out of his life for good.

Help me understand why some women just won’t give the divorce (especially after her ex has been with someone else for two years).

- Fed Up

Given that her husband got together with you very close to the time he left her, it’s not surprising that she’s angry, jealous, feeling scorned. That doesn’t make her behaviour easy to take, just more understandable. 

You need to stand back from their battle – his belongings that he shared with her are not your business.

Separation agreements between hostile parties are rarely “fair” and gentle compromises, but that’s for him to work out with his lawyer.

He’s bought a new house, and she undoubtedly thinks he can also manage to buy new tools.

You have him and the house, and in other respects, your happiness. Stay out of this and accept your ring when it’s over.

Is there any way to keep children from the over-influence of television?

- Concerned

Choose programs you approve, and make that time enjoyable. 

Limit random viewing.

Buy educational and interesting DVD’s.

Arrange play dates or activities for the “down times” before dinner.

I discovered that my husband of six years has been cheating for five years and conceived a child. 

The other woman is 23.

He denied it, but by the time he finally confessed, I’d thrown him out.

I’d been through this once with my kids’ father.

I love my husband. He’d been a father to my three daughters, but the hurt and pain won’t allow me to take him back, even though he says he loves me and my children.

- HURTING LIKE HELL

He’s cheated throughout the majority of your marriage, which means he took his “love” for you and the kids very casually. 

In this case, taking him back would be showing he can get away with it.

He has a responsibility to this child and will be in contact with his lover for years to come, something you’d undoubtedly find hard to take.

Heal now, or more pain later.