We met and married very young making strong, mutual agreements - no kids, much travel, pay our house off quickly, etc.     
      Twelve years later, I’ve recently moved out because I think things will never change. I’m no longer attracted to him and have lost respect for him. I feel I was too young to make those commitments.     
      I have a hard time telling him my issues, for fear of hurting him. We’ve basically stopped talking for the past year. Even if he changes his mind about kids I don’t want to be with him.     
      We’ve grown apart. However, I’ve agreed to see a counsellor together, as a way to close things. I’m excited for my own future, but he views counselling as a chance to fix things.      
      I’m getting flack from friends because of my prior uncommunicativeness (my moving out was a shock). I’m pressured to go back and try. When I listen to others, I change my mind. How can I get everyone to accept that it’s over?
      - Crazy with Indecision

I understand your enthusiasm for a whole new life, but your lack of communication, plus closed-mind attitude leave you looking the Unfair One. You’ve already hurt your husband, but could still handle this differently.    
      Speak up. After 12 years, he deserves a clear explanation that you’ve grown apart; that the long-ago commitments made you feel trapped, with no chance of change.    
      You built up resentments towards him, which lessened your attraction and respect. Had you spoken up sooner, there perhaps might’ve been a chance for growing differently, together.    
      Your counselling will be wasted if you have no intention of opening your mind to wherever it leads. If it’s Separation Counselling you want, say so. Tell your friends this is your life to improve or mess up. You now need to be honest, instead of silent.

My daughter, 19, is a high school drop-out and not working at the moment. She’s up all night talking on the phone and sleeping all day. I’ve said she needs to find a job - any job - but she’s not found one nor tried very hard.
      My husband had told me to back off from her somewhat because we’re moving and were unsure where we’re going. Now, we’ve found a house and know the area, but she’s still not making much effort.    
      I don't know what I should do to motivate her and wonder if she’s feeling depressed.
      - Confused

It’s time to cross the line from just indulging your daughter’s withdrawal to pro-actively helping her find some direction in her life.      
      If depression is a real concern take her to a doctor and see if there’s more to her behaviour than just fatigue from late nights, plus immobilizing confusion about how to live in an adult world.    
      Tell her, while expressing some understanding of her feelings, of your parental responsibility to try to help her find her way. BUT, if she resists, be clear that any responsibility to house, feed and clothe her will draw to an end.     
      Arrange some sessions with a career counsellor which can focus her interests and talents; you may commit to support her while she takes some courses, does an internship, or returns to high school.    
      After that, she’s on her own. You can find her an apartment and pay the first three months, or charge rent at home, but she MUST get a job, or leave.

My friend’s getting engaged in the summer; I'm happy that she's happy, but annoyed because every time we talk, it's all about the future wedding!     
      Worse, I don’t particularly like the boyfriend and have no interest in getting to know him and becoming his friend, too. I'm starting to avoid this friend. What should I do?
      - Distancing

A good friend knows that one day, she/he may also be absorbed in a new job, wedding, new boyfriend, etc., and may think everyone else is delighted to hear about it.    
      A thoughtful friend finds ways to periodically (and diplomatically) change the subject, or sometimes chooses get-togethers at a movie or something else that requires full attention.     
      A non-judgmental friend at least gives a chance to the chosen life partner of a close pal.    
      Your complaints demonstrate none of these friendship qualities, so it’s likely you’ll drop this friend … just be careful it’s not your pattern.