My daughter has just started at a private girl’s school, and I am so worried about her. She is an only child who has had no experience growing up with boys. Our family is very small, and her only cousin is also a girl.

I wasn’t sure a same-sex school was the right place for her, but my husband was very impressed with the curriculum, educators and the extracurriculars that this school offered. So, I agreed for two years – unless she requests to leave.

I want her to be successful and to take full advantage of all that this school has to offer. How can I help her without transferring any of my negative thoughts and worries on to her?

No Diversity

As I’m sure you know, there are many positives to attending a same-sex school, and yes, the obvious lack of diversity. Regardless of sexual identity, the female and male brain are wired differently. And, as hard as we try, gender stereotypes still exist.

In an all-girls school, your daughter may flourish, recognizing that her peer group are just like her, and whatever they can do, she can also do. Often, girls shy away from areas where boys dominate. In a coed school, if the boys are all on the basketball court, a girl will often shy away from joining in, self-conscious about her abilities, and, depending on her age, her appearance.

You’re smart and open to have agreed to a two-year trial. Keep your concerns to yourself, and if it goes awry, don’t say “I told you so” to your husband. Hopefully, your worries will be for naught, and she will excel.

Why are some people so easy going and some so tightly wound? Can we not walk down the street on a beautiful sunny summers day and say hello to the people we pass? Can we not smile and appreciate the weather and the fact that we’re healthy and alive?

My questions come after opting to walk home from work a few days as the temperature was perfect, warm but not too hot, and I was wearing appropriate footwear. I didn’t set out to perform a sociological test on the community, but it turned out that way. Of the people I counted, I probably passed over 100 humans within speaking distance. I smiled at almost everyone and received a smile back 65 per cent of the time. And I’ll say that another 10 per cent didn’t see my smile.

Why did those other people not smile at me? Why, of the 30 people with whom I engaged, did only 20 engage back positively? Why are people so dark and gloomy?

Disappointed

First, let me applaud your healthy choice in getting some cardiovascular exercise by walking home. Second, I also applaud your optimism and positivity. The world needs more people like you, open and friendly and full of life.

But don’t be disappointed…. you need to simply lower your expectations. And in this case, give people the benefit of the doubt. You were generous in your thought process that perhaps some people didn’t notice you smiling at them. But also consider those people who are shy, introverted, not comfortable with strangers smiling at them. Same with those who didn’t engage back with you. Perhaps there was a language barrier, perhaps they didn’t hear you, perhaps they were caught up in conversation, or lost in thought.

Yes, watching the news, the world is a dark place right now, but keep on shining your light, being you. Better that your light brightens someone else, than their darkness dampens your light.

FEEDBACK Regarding the teenage tricks (June 21):

Reader – “I enjoy your columns. However, you described the man's later remembrance of the sexual encounter as ‘sweet.’  I beg to differ; he was not helping a damsel in distress. His intentions were anything but honourable and were instead opportunistic and bordering on exploitative.

“As for the girl, her request of a stranger is mind-boggling.  He said later he had loved her innocence (meaning, was aroused by it and commensurately, by her inexperience) and was glad to ‘be of service’ as though he’d helped her select an item at Canadian Tire.

“For their initial encounter to qualify as sweet, meeting at the fair and subsequently attending a movie would fit the bill with the added benefit of the story being able to be shared with their new partners.”

Lisi – You’re free to have your own opinion. Just to be clear, he wasn’t a stranger; he was a friend.