I think my husband of 14 years (two children together) might be cheating on me through massage parlors. I’ve noticed pink stuff under his shirt collar, what seems to be coloured oil on the collar itself and hairs on his shirt and underwear that aren’t his or mine. There’s also been semen in his underwear.    
      There have been many withdrawals from his bank account in the hundreds, when he could just use his bankcard for purchases.  I’ve showed him some things I’ve found but he says he doesn’t know where it came from. I need to find out the truth; I’m on three different medications for depression because of this.     I’d love to follow him but I’m afraid to get caught, it’s far from my house, and a private investigator costs too much. Are these signs of cheating and what should my next step be?
      - Going Crazy

You convinced me with the semen stains. There’s no need to play Sherlock Holmes or hire his counterpart: Just show the stained underwear and the bank withdrawals to your guy, and tell him to tell the truth or be prepared to face the cost of splitting up, child support, property division, etc.    
      No, I don’t mean that the next step is automatically divorce. It’s possible for you two to stay together, IF he comes clean and you both deal with why he’s doing whatever he’s doing.    
      Is it possible he has a believable excuse? Sure - something like masturbating at work while rubbing lotion all over himself - but it’s not likely. Meanwhile, you need to gather your inner strength to face his response, whether you decide to work together on the marriage, or part.     
      Depression is only harmful to you. Beyond medication, you should talk to a therapist, focus on your kids’ well-being and on your personal need to get better and have confidence in yourself.    
      Learning your legal rights will strengthen your demand for truth.

My daughter’s father and I lived common-law for 21 years. I left with the kids (then 15 and 11) due to his alcoholism. He’d been a doting, involved dad, but since our separation, he’s played the poor victim: His drinking cost him his business, our family home and now his children.
      He’s always made an effort to contact our son for golfing or watching a hockey game, but he’s only contacted our daughter occasionally over four years … usually just a phone call with broken promises.      
      He promised to take her shopping for her 15th birthday and never called again. He contacted our son several times over the holidays, but didn't call his daughter to wish her a Merry Christmas.      
      I know deep inside she's hurting, though she pretends not to care. I don't know what to say. His mother left him at the age of five and he's never dealt with his abandonment.
      - Concerned

At 15, she knows the score and there’s little you need to say. Your role is to help her feel valued and loved, and to help her accept her father for who he is – that he was a doting father, that he loved her, but for some reason can’t handle his own inadequacies in front of her.     
      You’re likely right on when you link this behaviour to his own abandonment, but you’re not her counselor, you’re her mother. If she wants to understand her father better, she should talk to a professional. Offer this chance for her to talk to someone, when she’s ready.

I have a wonderful niece in middle school and nephew in high school.  I'm proud of both but amazed at how many children don’t acknowledge their emails when sent a greeting card, or useful information.    
      We all live busy lives, yet many children and adults don’t respond within a day or two, with thanks. It’d make the sender feel respected and acknowledged. A simple “thank you” only takes seconds.
      - Disappointed

It only takes a few seconds to rise above your disappointment and be the adult guide these young people need to improve their manners and communication skills.
      Send an email marked Urgent: “Dear niece and nephew, I wish you all the best for Valentine’s Day. I know it’s a busy time, but I’m showing you my love and interest in you. When I receive your immediate “thank-you” email I’ll know you appreciate and want me to continue to care about you.”