My husband met a new woman who’s 20 years younger than me and made me feel so old!
He’s the most irresponsible person on earth and doesn’t want to pay child support for my two boys from a previous marriage. We lived together for four years.
Now he wants me to give him equity from our home, of $75,000. Our house already has a $400,000 mortgage, I have three children to feed (one is his), with no money in the bank.
I’d like to tell the world what kind of man he is to walk out on a daughter who only knows how to call his name, and isn’t even walking yet!!
- Sad Me
Yes, you should be telling your story, loudly and clearly, to a legal advisor. Protect your children’s continued support and your financial security by getting informed about your rights. You’ll need to learn his rights too, to avoid worse conflicts between you, which can only disturb the children further.
Though his leaving you is hurtful, focus on being the strong, wise woman in this situation; there’s more important stuff to think about than his new lady’s age.
A lawyer or duty counsel of a legal aid clinic can tell you whether, in your jurisdiction, a husband who acted as parent to step-children, has the continued responsibility to provide for them.
• Canadian lawyer Linda Silver Dranoff’s book, Everyone’s Guide to the Law, is an excellent first resource for learning how to prepare for a separation agreement, resolve custody and access disputes, and divide assets.
I’m a freshman in high school who’s known this guy for six years, as my family friend’s son. We go to different schools and live in different towns, so we rarely see each other - two or three times a year, usually during the summer.
Recently, I realized my feelings for him. We have so much in common, I can talk to him comfortably, and he’s one of the smartest people I know.
I emailed him a couple of weeks ago just to say hi, and haven’t received anything back. I don’t want to call him because we don’t talk much, so it’s out of place.
Do I wait to talk to him until I next see him, email again, or do I just forget it?
- Still Waiting
In the dating world - which is what you’re after - you’ve made the first move.
What happens next is not a matter of “waiting,” since you have nothing on which to base any expectations. You’ll only know the next step to take, after his response or lack of one.
After all, if he doesn’t email back, it could be for a variety of reasons… too busy, unsure what your surprise contact means, involved with someone else and doesn’t want to embarrass you, etc. So a No Response is NOT a big rejection, it’s just his move at this early stage.
In that case, you do nothing until you see him again in the future. Then, act natural, make no mention of your email and show a friendly smile and open attitude to whatever happens next.
One of my old friends is going around saying I’m fat because we broke up. It’s really hurting my feelings.
I've tried going on so many diets and I really want to lose weight but I just can’t find the right diet.
- Overweight in Bristol, England
Dieting because of others’ rude comments can feel like a negative motivation, which inevitably fails.
If you’re truly overweight, you need to achieve balanced nutrition and a feeling of well-being, for your health and self-image. Start by seeing a doctor to check out any health issues.
Along with medical advice, begin gentle exercise like walking, until you feel more zestful; then kick it up by joining a gym, walking farther and faster, but without going to extremes.
Learn about healthy nutrition; basically, a sensible diet consists of eating three meals a day (especially breakfast) plus three snacks, all of modest proportions. Eating lots of vegetables and fruits, a handful-sized portion of protein at each sitting and modest amounts of whole grains like bread and brown rice, will maintain your energy levels, without spiking a need for sugar.
Of course, cut down on fried and fatty foods, and switch from fast foods to fresh, which most grocery deli sections now carry.
Tip of the day:
On issues of child support and asset-splitting, learn the legal rights and responsibilities of both sides.