I recently started playing Maj with a group of women, all of whom I have met over the years, but none are close friends. They’re all nice, friendly, kind, interesting and easy enough to spend an hour with. So, when I was invited to join their group, I thought, why not?

The first few weeks was me learning how they play because, though I’m new to the game, it seems different groups have slightly different rules. Also, I’m a quick study, so I was observing the different players’ strategies. And we have a few extra players on rotation because someone is always away or busy.

But now that we’ve settled into our game, and everyone is comfortable with everyone, it seems the women have let down their guard. Now the conversation around the table is mainly gossipy, bitchy cattiness, talking badly about how someone looks, or discussing something salacious about another person’s relationship, etc.

I’m feeling uncomfortable in this setting, but I really like the game, and I’m settled in as a player. What do I do?

Maj Mongers

In this situation, I can’t tell you what to do. But I think you already know. If you were comfortable staying and playing with these women, you wouldn’t have reached out to me.

They may be lovely, on their own and/or in a group; and they may make for a great Maj table. But for whatever reason, the combination of the two, at this point in time, has them running their mouths in ways that you find offensive (and rightfully so).

Will they talk about you if you leave the group? Probably. But who cares? No one with any integrity is listening.

My older sister has been dating a super nice guy for several years. I’ve watched the way he treats her, and I want that for myself. Not him specifically, just to be treated with so much respect and dignity. You can just tell that not only is he madly in love with her, but he also really likes her.

I’ve had many long talks with her about it, and she told me that if they ever break up, she’s worried she’ll never meet anyone who loves her the way he loves her. That he has set the bar way high.

The more I think about it, the more depressed I get knowing that no one will ever treat me as well or love me as much. Not only did he set the bar high for her, but for me as well.

Never Good Enough

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pull back. From the conversation, I’m going to guess that you two are well under 30. With that in mind, you both have plenty of time to find a fabulous partner, whether this guy remains in the picture or not.

I’m glad that he was raised well to know how to treat a girlfriend, and in future, a wife. And I’m happy for both you and your sister that you’ve had a good glimpse of how you wish to be treated. Don’t accept less – from anyone!

But just remember relationships are two-sided. You need to treat your partner with just as much dignity and respect.

FEEDBACK Regarding poor casting (April 1):
Reader – “I read your advice every day and almost always agree with your judgement, but not about the writer who commented on celebrity podcasts.

“I don't believe he is ‘green with envy.’ I think he's disappointed (maybe disgusted) that so many celebrities have such an inflated sense of their own importance that they broadcast their everyday lives. I agree with that writer and, incidentally, feel no celebrity envy whatsoever!”

Lisi – Perhaps I chose the wrong terminology.

FEEDBACK Regarding the fur baby (April 1):

Reader – “You mention that her dog should have an air tag. Air tags are NOT a recommended method of keeping tabs on a dog and I speak from experience of trying to use one with my dog. Air tags are NOT a GPS tracker and are only intended for stationary items. They work by bouncing signals off cellphones that are around them, such as in an airport where there are lots of people with phones.

“But when someone is walking a dog in the woods or even on a quiet street or in a park, there aren’t enough phones for the air tag to work. They are useless in that situation. What’s needed is a GPS tracking device and that is considerably more expensive. So, using the air tag in this way gives a false sense of security.”

Lisi – Your technical knowledge may be accurate but somehow, I’ve found having an air tag on my pooch very helpful.