My new husband just brought home a puppy. I’m in LOVE! I’ve always wanted a dog, but we moved around a lot when I was a child, and the timing has just never been “right.” I am so grateful to him for understanding my desire, and for getting me this puppy.

So, what’s the problem? Right now, I work long hours, outside of the house, trying to make money so when we get pregnant, we can feel less stressed during the period when I’m not working. My husband doesn’t understand that since he works from home, the onus of caring for the pup during the day falls on him.

I take the puppy out for a short walk, feed him and play with him before I leave in the morning; and I am all over him from the minute I get home. But that still leaves an eight-hour period when my husband needs to be on duty. He’s not on top of it, and the puppy is going to the bathroom in the house, chewing shoes, and basically getting into mischief.

How do I get my husband on board? It’s going to be a good six months before I’m home on a regular basis.

Pooping Puppy Parents

This is GREAT practice for when you two become parents, on sharing the responsibility and never-ending tasks of caring for an infant. Though in the very beginning, the onus falls on the mother (especially if she’s breastfeeding), a natural partnership and understanding of shared “work” will make child-rearing that much more fun and rewarding.

FEEDBACK Regarding the grandparents wishing for an early Christmas (Sept. 27):

Reader – “Your answer regarding the request of the grandparents to have Christmas early was, in my opinion, correct.
“As a grandmother with experience in balancing family members in different countries, I find that flexibility in when to celebrate special days only adds to the enjoyment and precious memories. With my husband’s family in a different hemisphere, my children could never see both sets of grandparents close to, or on Christmas Day. However, we were always able to make the most of our celebrations and gift giving. I was always grateful that my parents accommodated us by having our extended family gatherings early, or late, in the years that we travelled “down under” for Christmas. My husband’s family were just pleased that we visited them and never pressured us to come at a certain time.
“No one seemed to mind and those at home celebrated on the 25th as they wished. Also, before I had children, when working as a nurse, I never got Christmas time off and my parents accommodated that, too.  My mother believed that family was more important than a date on the calendar.
“I wonder how the daughters-in-law will feel when they want to take a family holiday over Christmas and New Year when their children are limited by school holidays. Will they then expect grandparents to be flexible?
“My children loved the idea of having special meals and gift giving spread out over weeks/months. It just added to their fun and special memories. They liked the tradition of two Christmases.
“Now, as a grandmother, I find much joy in celebrations and gift giving at any time. My grandchildren, who are in another country, are delighted to celebrate their birthdays weeks early if my visit doesn’t coincide with the actual dates. Children are quite flexible and are thrilled to extend the festivities.
“I feel sad for the daughters-in-law. They are missing out on the joy of being part of new traditions. Children love traditions but those can be unique to each family. This year my son and his family will travel with me to be with my daughter’s family overseas on Christmas. My daughter-in-law’s family will accommodate with their family gathering with no complaints.”

Why do you put other readers’ feedbacks in your column? We read the column for YOUR advice, for your point of view, for your expertise.

Love your advice

Thank you for your support and continued readership. I appreciate that you read mine and Ellie’s column for our advice, and not of the general public. But we can see that sometimes, other people have different viewpoints that we hadn’t thought of, that often make sense. We can only give our answer based on our life experience, our education, and our knowledge. We also have a limited space in which to reply.

Many readers will also relate to another reader’s issue and give insight into how they solved a similar problem. We believe it takes a village and we’re all here to help each other.