I ride a motorcycle and often see drivers of cars, vans, pickups and SUV’s flicking their cigarettes out their vehicle windows. These hot ashes, heaters and still-burning butts are dangerous to motorcycle riders; they can fly into our visors, helmets and jackets.
      My husband had a butt fly into his jacket and had to make fast, potentially lethal maneuvers to pull over to the side of the road, in order to tear off his jacket and shake out the butt. It burned his chest.
      Others had hot things fly in their faces. One friend was KILLED because a tossed cigarette butt burned his face, and he lost control of his motorcycle.
      When I pull alongside one of these inconsiderate idiots with their window open after they’ve flung a flame out of it, what do I say to them: “Hey jerk, you could’ve killed me. Please don’t fling your cigarette butts out the window during motorcycle season!”
      To all your readers on the road: DO NOT FLING OR FLICK your cigarettes out the vehicle windows. Not only can smoking kill you, but it could kill ME, too. And I’ve NEVER smoked.
      - Little Chick on Red Bike

Your serious warning speaks for itself, but unfortunately, you’re still left to protect yourself from inconsiderate drivers of all types when you’re on the road.
      Be pro-active, beyond being critical. Start organizing the bikers you know — and they in turn can organize others — to carry a sign on motorcycles that says, “Throwing Lit Butts can Kill.”
      Contact any motorcycle associations and dealers, and campaign to spread this message to the media. Reach out to cycling associations as well.
      With enough people pointing out how a careless toss can be dangerous to bike-riding youngsters, as well as everyday cyclists and motorcyclists, you could make an impact.
      However, when on the road, calling someone a “jerk” just incites hostile reactions. Simply state your message that tossed flaming butts can cause accidents. Most people will prefer to stop the habit.

I’ve been feeling a large amount of resentment towards my new husband (six months). The many reasons make me cry: I feel he puts his ego and lifestyle above and beyond my feelings. So much has happened in these past six months: buying a house, the wedding, job changes. It seems to keep getting worse.
      I know that marriage takes work so I need something to give me faith that this is all worth it. I feel alone and disappointed. Shouldn't we be in the newlywed stage? I don't think we ever got there.
      - Confused

You’ve been feeling overwhelmed and pressured — and you've decided it’s all your new husband’s fault. Okay, maybe it is, but where were you when it was decided to do everything at once?
      And where’s your voice when you need to slow down and negotiate with him on how to get through things without losing all connection?
      Job changes are tough — they take time to adjust to the new schedule and surroundings. Often, the timing of the change is unavoidable, so it takes precedence. Both of you need to be understanding during that time. (It’s hard to be “honeymooning” when you’re working extra hours to learn the ropes and exhausted from it.)
      Buying a house so close to a wedding was stressful for both of you. Now insist on delaying any non-urgent decisions about décor, purchases, etc. Tell your groom — without blame — that you need time to enjoy him and the marriage itself.

I’m 18, in high school. My brother, 20, is a college dropout, unemployed. He sleeps late, invites friends over, consumes all our food, and pushes my little brother and me around.
      He always takes our “shared” car to go to the bar, though I need to get to work. My working parents don't see all this. I’ve reported his taking advantage, but they say, “We’re not going to kick him out."
      How do I convince them and my brother that he needs to take responsibility?
      - Frustrated

Setting boundaries for your brother is your parents’ job, which they’re currently neglecting. Describe only the difficulties you face personally — not enough food, no use of the car, etc. Ask for similar understanding to that being given your brother.
      Meanwhile, stick with school and work: Your opportunities for a satisfying, successful future are far greater than your brother’s, despite these frustrations at home.