I’m 52, married for 31 years, am slim and don't look my age. My husband, 49, has always snuck peeks at passing women and used to collect girlie magazines, though he knew it hurt me.
      He's always had a very high interest in sex but in recent years our sex life dwindled and I usually initiate. Recently he phoned home and asked me to get something out of his briefcase. In it, I found several pictures of women torn from magazines and a couple of stories (pornographic) he’d written.
      They described his wife as refusing to dress sexy or have the types of sex that he'd like, or as often. In the story, he ends up having mind-blowing sex (many pages) with a neighbour. I was very hurt and spread the pictures out on our bed with a nasty note.
      I’m certainly no prude. He used to say that if you aren't getting it at home, it’s okay to find it elsewhere. I’m wondering if he's been cheating on me, as he has lots of opportunity.
      I work a day shift and he’s started a job on afternoons so we haven't seen or spoken to each other since this happened two days ago. I can't talk to any of my friends or family about this. I’d thought that lately we were happier than in a long time.  
      Now I'm wondering if we should both just go our own ways.
      - Not Taking Crap

Don’t wonder if he’s cheating - ask. But first, remember a “story” is just that. Hubby certainly has a very vivid imagination and likes playing around the edges of porn. BUT, a guy who’s having “mind-blowing sex” with any one, doesn’t usually need to write about it.
      Say that you need to know the truth, because you already believe the worst and prepared to separate. But also say that you’d prefer to stay together and work on your sex life.
      A professional therapist can help; so can reading books on ways to re-connect sexually. With different schedules, you’ll also need to set aside “date night” time together. It’s all worth trying.

My husband of five years is torn between living with me and living in the same town (600 miles away) as his 16-year-old daughter. He's 46, currently and feels his daughter needs him. He hasn't spent time with her in 18 months.
      I'm 48 and have a very good job. My chances for employment in that small town are non-existent, as are his.
      He hates that town, loves where we live, but also feels obligations to his family (they live near his daughter).
      I think it makes more sense to stay here where there are more work opportunities, my job and decent lifestyle, and find a way to see his daughter far more than he has.
      - Your Thoughts?

Your own thoughts make sense but this is about his emotions, responsibilities, and feelings of failure, not practical facts.
      He needs to feel successful and share quality time with his daughter. She should visit you both regularly; when he’s working he’ll be able to afford bringing her there.
      You can help pay meanwhile; it’s part of solving this dilemma in the way you want. He needs to realize that hanging around unemployed isn’t going to improve his relationship with his daughter; she’s at an age where she needs a healthy role model from him.
      Meanwhile, he should stay in frequent contact through email and phone and start the visits to you both, soon.

I moved in with my boyfriend after only dating three months; I changed everything about my life for him. He always issues ultimatums. He says he loves me but he can’t seriously think this is love.
      His family pressures him to marry me. He’s so difficult to talk to; we’re so opposite, he’s older than me but acts like a child. How can I make it clear without him freaking out, blaming me and insisting I stay till I find a new apartment?
      I was happy before I met this jerk. Why haven’t I left?
      - Finished

You’re crying for help to leave, so go get it. If you have family or close friends, go there. If that’s not workable, and/or you fear for your safety, find a local women’s shelter and talk to someone there.
      Experienced staff will help you find accommodation, work, legal help, and counselling. And they won’t judge you.