I’m female, mid-30s, divorced, attractive, and fit. After a mental-health break from dating online, I posted my profile anew, and there they were again – tons of unsolicited dirty-talk messages.

Finally, one guy seemed worth a try - admittedly because his photo was handsome, and he wasn’t talking crudely.

We communicated and soon met. We had one date in a public place. Though he was as good-looking in person and also well built, I didn’t find his personality interesting. He drove me home, kissed me good night. There’d been no suggestive behaviour between us.

The next morning I awoke to a text photo of him from the neck down, fully naked frontally, including his penis.

I haven’t responded. But I’m astonished at his nerve! I don’t know whether to be insulted or just write him off as an idiot! What do you think?

Photo-shocked!

The sight of a photographed penis doesn’t traumatize me, but I do get gob-smacked by sheer stupidity.

Despite the recent, much-publicized squandering of respect and credibility by former US congressman Andrew Weiner, this near-stranger thinks he can excite you with an early morning view of his only asset.

Clearly, brains and charm are missing.

The most astounding reality about his dumb throwback to childhood pissing contests is, he knows nothing about you. Yet, he sends you a photo you could easily circulate, with negative commentary, or even consider as harassment if sent again.

Worse, he has no idea if you have young nieces or nephews who play with your phone and, sadly, might see this unappetizing view of an adult male stuck in pre-adolescent pants-down exhibitionism.

Delete. Do NOT respond, ever.

My parents’ 30-year marriage has been floundering as long as I can remember. Particularly since I moved out, their relationship’s been really strained.

They've just grown apart and I don't know how to help them. My mom, 50’s, is very inactive and gets very tired from a job on her feet all day.

She never wants to do anything, doesn't even see friends much anymore, just stays home, and watches TV.

My dad’s always wanting to go out and enjoy life. They rarely do anything together and it’s like a chore when they do. They argue a lot.

Individually, they complain about each other. I know they once loved each other but it’s now so depressing to see their behaviour.

Yet a divorce wouldn’t be good for either of them. They’re still dependent on each other and stuck in their habits. I want to find a way to reconnect them with each other.

Fed Up

It’s an understandable goal, for their sake and for your own peace of mind, but it’s not your responsibility to change a pattern that they created. They may even resent your intruding.

The logical start to be a helpful daughter is to deal with your mom on her own. Her inactivity’s bad for her health. However, though she’s tired, she might be motivated by you offering to join a yoga class with her, or even getting together once weekly for a gentle stroll. Say it’s to have time to talk, without putting pressure on her to get “fit.”

Build this slowly… through any physical exercise you can get her doing with you, and then perhaps on her own. If mom gains energy, invite the two out for dinner, buy them show tickets for Christmas, etc.

When each complains, gently brush it off as their marriage to deal with, not yours.

FEEDBACK Regarding discovery of a daughter’s secret life (August 27):

Reader – “The explicit emails from the young woman's lover to her were undoubtedly "discovered" through a breach of trust and privacy. Worse, it's the aunt writing to you. Who else have they told?

“Perhaps some "deeper underlying problems" began a long time before the daughter started dancing for cash and the parents rifled through her correspondence.
 “Perhaps the family’s not had a close relationship. It might even be the parents who made her feel she had to live a double life.”

FEEDBACK Regarding the wife whose husband was offered a position at Oxford University (August 20):

Reader – “She worried about moving with her six-months-baby and missing her family.
“But Oxford is a most exciting city, truly beautiful, easy to get around, full of life and history.
“I say - go and enjoy! It’s a walk-able and bicycle-friendly city.”