I’m a man, 33, who one month ago met a same-age woman, and we’ve developed a remarkable chemistry (she’s a lawyer, I’m an engineer). We can feel each other’s vibe and respond before the thought is transferred verbally. 

Our friends believe that we’re good for each other.

We’ve both warned ourselves about being cautious and taking time, but it seems so right.

I’ve shown emotions that have been vacant in my life for years, and I even practice patience, which has been a sore point for me.

She’s opened up and feels comfortable telling me about her life.

Do you believe that our timing was impeccable and that love at first sight exists, and is this signs of it?

- I Really Want This

I believe in Love at First Sight – when it lasts. If, instead, those early vibe connections start to misfire, then it may’ve been love at First Rush. 

You’re both wise to take time, despite how well matched you seem. If showing emotions wasn’t easy for you in the past, this tendency may crop up again, so it’s even more important that you build your bond and commitment slowly and surely.

People who plunge into too intense an early relationship often slide back to old patterns as soon as they feel secure.

You’re both educated, and a good age for making sound judgments. But one month of dating and emotional titillation is not a sound basis for deciding the rest of your life.

People who’ve enjoyed love at first sight may disagree… but usually it’s 20 years later, when their instincts and endurance have both been proven.

My two grandsons are soon going off to college; I spoke with my daughter’s son about the dangers of binge drinking and to be careful, no problem. 

However, when I mentioned to my daughter-in-law about the talk I planned on having with her son, she asked my son, in my presence, if it was okay with him. He said yes. But I had not been asking her permission, and didn’t know I needed her permission to speak with my 18-year-old grandson. I was surprised by her reaction.

Was I overstepping the line in my attempt to speak with my grandson about the dangers of binge drinking?

I have since backed off for fear of interfering in their business.

Did I need my daughter-in-law’s permission to speak to my grandson on this subject?

- Loving Grandmother

There’s a double standard at play here, which you don’t seem to recognize: Had your daughter told you that she wanted to ask her husband’s feelings on the matter, you would’ve asked her, Why? And depending on your relationship, she might’ve told you. 

But you clearly didn’t feel as easy about asking that question of your daughter-in-law. Instead, it sounds like you’ve taken some offense.

Exchange that feeling for admiration. Your daughter-in-law was being very respectful of her husband; and there may be more to her diplomacy than they wanted to share with you.

Example: 1) They may’ve already talked to their son about this and she didn’t want him to feel barraged or untrusted.

2) There may’ve been an incident involving drinking and your grandson, which they’ve already handled, and she didn’t want him to think they told you.

Yes, you’re a loving grandmother, and your intent was decent and caring, but its parents who have the first right of responsibility and selectivity as to advising their children on potentially sensitive subjects.

I was making all the plans for my fall wedding and everything was going great until my sister said she was not attending nor allowing my nephews to attend. She said I disrespected her by not putting her in my wedding party, but I never planned to do so. How do I get her to change her mind? 

And, a bigger question, did I actually do something disrespectful?

- Bride’s Choice

There’s still time for you to take off your veil of bridal entitlement and get real: You dissed your sister. It’s a public humiliation for her to be left out this way. 

Apologize. Then find an important place for her in this family celebration - consider naming her the Master of Ceremonies, or adding her as a Matron of Honour, etc. (If it were ONLY about you, you could get married with just a witness).

Act like a sister, not Bridezilla.