Pre-COVID-19 I was invited to do some research on site in a warm climate for two months. I jumped at the chance as I was going through a rough breakup. It was an incredible experience, an amazing opportunity and just what the doctor ordered to help me get over my broken relationship.
I returned home a few weeks before the pandemic hit the part of the world where I live. The group I worked with stayed in touch over Zoom over the course of the last two and a half years. We were able to continue our research and focus on what we had done while we were away.
I became very close with a woman on my team, mostly professionally, but our friendship grew over the time we were online. When we were the only ones on a Zoom, the banter would become very flirtatious.
Due to a multitude of factors, we have never been able to get together in person since our research trip. Something happened, and our friendship levelled out this past Spring. We still speak but not as often. I felt a shift but didn’t know the cause.
Well, now I do! I just received an invitation to her New Year’s Eve wedding. And I’m shocked. I thought she was single, since she never mentioned anyone special in her life. I realize that somehow I thought there was a chance for us to have a relationship.
I don’t know if I should attend.
What do you think?
Whatever was going on in your head wasn’t real simply because you didn’t say anything to her. Ever. In the course of the last almost three years, you’ve had plenty of opportunity, pandemic aside, to make a move. And you haven’t.
Chalk it up to a lesson learned. If you have an interest in someone, let them know. Especially if you aren’t together in person where body language plays a big part.
As far as attending, you should go. Why not? She obviously wants you there since she invited you. And what do you have to lose?
New Years is always a fun night, and a wedding on that night will definitely be a good party. Go, have fun and wish your friend well.
I’m in the process of creating costumes for my daughter’s dance competition. Our dance company has been working with this costume designer for several years. They have a new assistant because they are in high demand since the kids went back to dance after the COVID-19 break.
She’s causing a lot of problems because she doesn’t know what she’s doing. Every small change becomes a huge fiasco. I’m getting frustrated.
I thought I would talk to the owner and voice my frustrations. But the other day she answered the phone and was extolling the virtues of this young girl. I’m not aware of these virtues as I’m only getting to see her many mistakes.
I can’t deal with her anymore and would like to continue the process with someone else. What do I do?
Is there someone who you can hand this project off to? Sometimes people just don’t gel. It’s OK. You can’t expect to get along with everyone you encounter. For whatever reason, you and this assistant can’t seem to work together in a productive manner. It’s clear that the owner wants her to do her job. So, walk away.
There will be more dance competitions and more costumes to create. Let this one go.
My girlfriend is really into gift-giving, and she’s taught me how to buy good gifts for people. I appreciate her enthusiasm and love her generous spirit. But she’s cluttering up our very small apartment with her boxes and bags. And she’s so excited about the gifts she’s bought me that I’m worried she’s gone overboard and my gifts will pale in comparison.
How do I tell her that I love her and don’t need anything, and how do I make sure I don’t disappoint?
There is absolutely nothing you can do to ensure that your girlfriend will be pleased with your gifts. But the problem isn’t yours – it’s hers. She needs to learn to lower her expectations so she won’t be disappointed. I’m also hoping that you two discussed a budget beforehand.
If you’re really at a loss, create an experience – a theme-based day out ending with a romantic dinner. She’ll remember that for much longer than a new scarf.