What are your thoughts on open relationships?
I’ve been dating a girl for three years and we fantasize about having her enjoy another man. We think it's not always true that one should be with only one lover. We think it’s the ultimate gift a partner could give another - to experience a different partner for sexual satisfaction.
It may keep our relationship stronger and exciting through sexual variety.
If we can remain honest and open to each other about it, it would be okay.
I'm not sure if we should tell the other man.
Of course we’d be discreet about it for friends and family while she's off on a partner-supported "booty call.”

- Planning Ahead

For most people, the fun is in the fantasy, but the reality falls flat.
Your email reads as if you’re trying to convince me, as well as yourself.
While there are people who swap partners or believe in all of the above, they are still in the minority. I’d predict, that in far more cases, it could mean the ultimate end of the relationship.
For example: From my experience through hearing from tens of thousands of men, guys don’t enjoy “comparison sex,” which is what you’d be getting after she has enjoyed sexual variety.
Also, most people feel that fidelity is a greater proof of love than a partner’s joy in being allowed to play around. Fantasy alone can enhance sexual satisfaction… consider leaving it at that.

I'm a single woman in my 70's with two younger siblings who both attempted suicide decades ago.
Both have blamed me for their pain.
I’ve been estranged from them for over 30 years, though I’ve tried contacting them occasionally to effect some healing amongst us.
Our father died when I was six. Our mother was withdrawn from society, so I was frequently asked for advice regarding these siblings.
I made mistakes through inexperience, immaturity, lack of insight and awareness, and my own pain. But I always loved them, and still do.
According to the Freudian analysis that my sister undertook, suicide is "murder in 180 degrees" and when a target victim is discovered (me) the analysis is often concluded.
I’m disappointed in a modern psycho-technology that would sanction scape goating and not have a client realize her own power as choice-maker.
My brother, with whom I had a close relationship in our youth, is dominated by his controlling wife. He ignores my suggestions to meet.
I’ve lived a productive, active, professional life, am financially independent and in good health.
Do you see any possibilities that might promote a happier ending to this family scenario?

- Still Hurting

Loving your siblings may have to mean finally letting them go. Their previous suicide attempts and continued estrangement suggests such deep-rooted hopelessness in the past that it could be dangerously risky to scratch at their old wounds.
You clearly have made the most of your own life and that’s a good thing, but may engender some envy on their part. Try to gently reach out from time to time, always letting them know you care deeply about them, even if they don’t want to meet. Tell them, in a note, what you’ve written here, acknowledging that you unintentionally made mistakes with them, and apologize.
If nothing changes, then, eventually, a gesture in your will that provides some bequest from you, whether monetary or symbolic, might finally help them see that you never stopped loving them.

Is it true that if you decline a wedding invitation, you’re still obligated to send a gift – money or otherwise? Please advise, as I’ll be receiving an invitation shortly.
If true, the rules of etiquette have changed to the advantage of the well-off folks.
Can you request that an invitation not be sent to you, to avoid this embarrassing situation?

- Clueless on etiquette

You seem to lack any interest in the couple getting married, or you’d be looking forward to celebrating with them and their families. If you can’t afford a gift, and don’t want to attend, then send a gracious note thanking the host for thinking of including you, and wishing the bride and groom all the best.
However, what’s more common is to send at least a small gift even if you don’t go.
Do NOT request an exclusion… it’s insulting to the person who wanted you there.