You can often hear children and teenagers loudly talking in school playgrounds, hallways and especially during the walk back home: forming “best friend” groups which slyly manage to push out unwanted intruders into their selective social groups.

It’s not so unusual when you consider the many private adult clubs that exist in various locales, from high-end sports gyms to private rooms in expensive restaurants. It’s all about exclusivity. And remember, kids hear about such clubs from their parents.

No matter the age group nor the special interests of the people involved, from music lovers to film afficionados, the chance of losing your place in the pecking order of socializing is always present.

So be aware: The nastier side of all this exclusivity can suddenly appear, whether in new friendships or relationships, which is a precursor to when one person decides to just walk away. In other words, when one person dumps another, whether as friend or romantically.

Unfortunately, it happens all the time.

So how do people, from children to adults, learn to accept and handle being discarded from a former close friendship?

Here’s what one very experienced school therapist once explained to me about the impact of a sudden loss of one or more friends’ loyalty: From her trained viewpoint as a professional social worker in the education system, getting dumped can be seen as a healthy experience, if it occurs early in one’s life.

Why? Because it means that when you get dumped or even just ignored later on in life, e.g. during mature dating, you’ll have learned how to handle it better than others who feel shocked by any major change in their relationships.

Then, generally, it’s not such a deep wound to a person’s healthy sense of oneself.

I once witnessed a negative transition in the life of a man I knew. A senior widower living in a well-managed seniors’ home, I was not surprised when he’d periodically introduce me to a new female companion. The social life in these communities is full, with many interesting outings to theatre, movies and activities on offer from tennis to bridge.

Many of the residents in this locale were widows on their own, and unsurprisingly over the years, some couples had formed close friendships and even relationships.

These couples could count on each other to be sociable. When he went out for dinner at a restaurant in the nearby city, she was also invited. They were easily comfortable in each other’s company.

However, a year later, I saw that though they were still friends, they were no longer constant companions. One striking thing had changed. The woman who’d been his “girlfriend” now sat apart from him.

Since I’d come to know her from past meetings, I asked why they were no longer together. Her answer offered a glimpse of a very different relationship than I’d seen in the past.

She told me that her friend had started to repeat himself and tell her the same stories she’d heard many times before. So she’d moved on from what had been a long and close relationship.

In other words, she wasn’t interested in him anymore and had summarily dismissed and dumped him.

Hard to believe, I’d thought, that it could even happen to someone in their very senior years. The man in this interrupted relationship was as surprised then as I am today. He was dropped from their socializing together by someone who didn’t care enough or want to acknowledge their friendship any longer.

Just like the schoolchildren who repeatedly thrive on being “choosy” and showing off new friends they prefer.

But who would’ve believed that someone would be dumped and dismissed at 101 years old?!

There’s a lesson here, not only for grownups, but for younger people too.

Trust yourself first.

Use your awareness and judgement to recognize when someone is “playing” you, instead of that person showing sincere intent to be friends.

This is especially important if you’re feeling uncomfortable with someone whom you don’t know well or, despite seeming a would-be friend, appears to be trying way too hard to preoccupy all your free time.

Healthy friendships, whether between schoolchildren in a playground, or adults in their senior years, are social supports that we all need at times, so long as they’re true.

It’s bullies and know-it-all types, whether they’re adults or youngsters, who are insecure. They play loosely with the feelings of so-called friends.

So make sure you learn early whom you can truly trust.