I'm 20, in a four-year loving relationship with my boyfriend, who's also 20.
His love for the gym has grown exponentially, and he's now considering competing in amateur bodybuilding competitions. He's decided to purchase steroids illegally, from sources at the gym and over the Internet.
I'm scared and angry. I don't know what to do to make him stop.
Tell him he's risking his relationship with you, along with his health and legal status. Say that you'll only consider him a "winner," if he competes without steroids; but he's a loser if he uses them once you both know the following information, culled from medical experts: Anabolic steroids are dangerous for health, and addictive. They're banned by the International Olympic Committee, as well as many amateur and professional sports organizations for good reason.
Potential psychological effects include irritability, anxiety, aggression and violence ("roid rage"); mood swings, reduced sex drive, manic symptoms, paranoia and depression which can lead to suicide.
High doses increase risk of heart enlargement and abnormalities, blood clots, high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke, hepatitis, liver enlargement and liver cancer, plus reduced fertility in both women and men.
Permanent long term effects include acne, cysts, thinning scalp hair in both sexes, permanent breast development in men, testicle shrinking, and increased risk of prostate cancer.
That list should be a turn-off for both of you.
I've been with my daughter's father for over two years; I'm 21, he's 24.
Before our daughter was born, he was practically living with me. But afterward, he became distant - always wanting to be with his friends.
I don't have the feelings I used to have for him because he now seems so immature and ignorant.
Recently, he told me that he's going to mess around and that I can too but whenever he wants to have sex with me he should be able to.
I already knew he was messing around. But I turn down other men, because he's warned of trouble if he sees another man at my house or around our daughter. I don't want the drama, especially because he visits without calling first. Mostly, I can't stand to be around him but I keep sleeping with him.
Everyone says leave him and my mom hates him, but I don't want to let him go because of things that he's been through in his life.
You've got one thing right: He IS immature and ignorant.
Unfortunately, you've got several things wrong - the most foolhardy being, that you continue to sleep with him when he's messing with others and could be passing on STD's.
Your other misguided belief is that you can rescue him from his difficult past. You can't. He's controlling/bullying you with his threats, and your kindness will be tossed when something makes him jealous.
You need legal advice about what this guy's rights and responsibilities are as the baby's father. You may also need counselling from an agency that helps single mothers, and/or women who fear abuse.
When you feel ready to make a safe plan for when to talk to this guy, you two need to work out how to raise your daughter as separated partners while living apart and pursuing your own futures.
I'm a teenager in high school; I had a crush on someone in my class, and asked her out.
However, I found her reaction quite odd.
She appeared to be shocked and told me that she had a boyfriend. While previously, we were friendly, said hello to each other and had small talks, after I asked her out, she stopped talking to me completely.
She also deleted my email off her contacts' list.
A week later, I found out, she didn't have a boyfriend, and she'd asked one of my friends out. I don't know what I should do now.
Should I move on or is there more to this matter?
The "more" to the matter was what she hadn't told you previously, which is that she was interested in your friend.
You couldn't have known that on your own, so there's nothing to be embarrassed about. She's the one who's feeling even more awkward than you, and likely wondering if you think she led you on.
You'll come out looking great if you act like nothing happened, just smile and be pleasant when you see her but say nothing about all this. And move on.
Tip of the day:
Some kinds of personal risk-taking are too much for a partner to bear.