As our kids were growing up, we taught them to value family time at the dinner table - no looking at screens, instead, focus on the people sitting around you. When my husband and I host our respective families for Christmas and Thanksgiving (we are the only ones in our families with space to accommodate everyone), we each have an “in-law” (above 65) who spends all their time on social media or playing games.

We suspect one may have hearing challenges.  Since we only get together a couple of times a year, this is our time to catch up with everyone. I find it disrespectful to be at the dinner table and be engaged with your phone and not those around you. Would we be asking too much if we enforced a “no screens” at the table during family events?

Frustrated

I am in 100 per cent agreement that there should never be screens at the table. The dinner table, as you say, is for the entire family to unplug, detach, and start the winding down process after the usual hectic stuff of our day. It’s a time for kids to talk about their day at school, for families to discuss upcoming plans, for spouses to check in with each other, for everyone to exhale.

However, if the discussion turns to something interesting and a fact needs to be checked, or a news story shared, then one person can look that up. As long as it adds to the family discussion.

So, yes, absolutely, I think you can have a no phones rule at your family holiday table. Your house, your rules.

I have a friend who just keeps reinventing herself. At first, I thought it was cute. And I was envious that she had the luxury of NOT worrying about finances so she could just keep flitting from one idea to another. But then it became annoying. Are you a professional pickleball player or a potter? Are you in school to get your Masters of Education, or are you taking online courses to be a mediator?

I know I sound jealous and petty - and as I admit, I was a bit jealous. But I found it hard to keep up and frankly, I lost interest since I didn’t want to expend any energy on something I knew she wasn’t going to see through.

Does that make me a bad friend?

Indecisive

Different generations have different attitudes regarding work. The postwar generation, those in their 80s and 90s, chose a career path and stuck with it until they retired. As did mostly both sets of baby Boomers, those who are in their 60s and 70s today. GenX were more flexible in their thought process, feeling less static in their life choices. So, I don’t think what your friend is doing is necessarily wrong or different or strange. It could be considered brave.

How many people get tired of the job/career path they chose in their 20s but are too afraid to make a change? How many people feel “stuck” because they’ve put in the time to get where they’ve got? And/or they’ve made it to a certain income level, have grown accustomed to that income and don’t want that to decrease with a change in career.

So, all the power to your friend for trying something new. But on the flip side, it isn’t fun to watch on the sidelines while a friend flits from idea to idea without sticking with anything or making any headway.

Take a step back, and if she asks why, tell her you’re happy for her but you can’t keep up with her constant changes. That’s OK.

FEEDBACK Regarding normalized marijuana use (Jan. 5):

Reader – “The issue with pot smoking is the awful smell and there’s no way around that. So, the argument between alcohol and smoking pot is that they’re mostly used to get a high or feeling mellow.

“Excess use of any enhancement stuff isn’t healthy. But enjoying a glass of wine with your meal or someone enjoying a cold beer doesn’t bother others - unless that person gets drunk and annoying, and then it becomes a serious problem.”
Regular reader

Reader #2 – “How has marijuana become so normalized? Getting high, whether via alcohol, drugs, including cannabis, all present the same dangers; if any one of those friends is going to be operating a motor vehicle, which is in this case assumed and likely if they are going out.”

Lisi – I don’t think you can assume that these kids were driving simply because they were going out.