I’m 15 and have always wanted to be a musician. My parents put me in piano lessons when I was very young and I excelled. At 10, I asked to try violin, which they were thrilled to provide, and I excelled. At 12, I started to teach myself guitar. My parents are very proud of my musical talent and ability and support me.

But now I want to take up drums, and my dad has said no. He says that drums are too loud, we don’t have a sound-proof room to practice in, we’re only ever home at the same time, as in, after school and after work, and it’s just not what he wants to hear after a long day.

I agree that drums are loud but I’m a good musician. It will be musical and not just banging. How can I make this work? My mom suggested I ask you.

Drummer Boy

Thank your mom for me. Kudos to you for being so musically talented. It’s a gift that we will all hopefully benefit from one day. But I get your dad. Drums are loud, even when played with musicality and talent.

At 15, I assume you’re still in school. Can you play your school’s drum set? Can you practice after school in the band room? Can you take lessons in someone else’s studio? I would investigate all these options and then suggest to your dad that if he’s willing to help you pay for the studio rental or the lessons, you won’t play at home during the week.

But I would also suggest that you two work out a weekend schedule so you can practice at home without bothering him. Maybe your dad just needs some quiet after his workdays. He obviously loves and supports you. Talk to him. You two should be able to work something out together.

The holidays are approaching and I’m starting to stress. My husband likes to let loose during the holiday season and drinks a LOT. Since this is a pattern, I’m already anticipating what’s going to happen, so I’m already getting upset with him. I don’t want to leave the party alone, again, only to hear that I need to come get him because he’s passed out. I don’t want to have to help him out of pants that he’s peed in, again. I don’t want to hear that he was flirting with someone else’s wife. I can’t take it anymore!

He’s a decent husband for the rest of the year…. why does he have to turn into the town drunk?

Holiday Hubby

An estimated 400 million people live with alcohol use disorders worldwide, which only means that your husband isn’t alone in turning to the bottle for whatever reason.

You have a few weeks left to nip this in the bud. Don’t sit on it. Talk to your husband. Tell him how you feel. Tell him what you’re willing to put up with and what you’re not willing to accept.

Ask him why he gets so drunk that he embarrasses himself and you? Make the effort to have a conversation with him to try to understand his thought process and his subsequent actions.

If he doesn’t respect you and you can’t compromise and have a laugh, then this marriage isn’t going to last past New Years’ Day.

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