My sister is becoming hard of hearing, which seems unnatural as she is only in her late 40s. She is a musician and played in rock bands throughout her teens and 20s. My parents used to beg her to wear protection over her ears, but she would refuse, thinking it “uncool.”

I think she lost some hearing back then but has been able to mask it up until recently. Now she and I are constantly arguing because she doesn’t hear me, thinks she’s heard something else, or agrees with whatever I’ve said, and then things go wrong that shouldn’t.

I’ve begged her to see an audiologist, but she scoffs, insisting she’s way too young for hearing impairment. How do I get her to see the light?

Say what?

In my experience, hearing loss is something that many people pretend isn’t happening to them. Fear, shame, change are all reasons why many people avoid admitting to medical/health deficiencies/diminishments. She needs to get over any stigma she thinks is out there.

Unfortunately, she’s an adult and you can’t drag her. You could suggest she speak to her doctor and see what they say. And you could reach out to her doctor privately, as a concerned family member. Otherwise, you’re going to have to start carrying around a pen and paper, or text her with any and all important information.

My wife has decided that our son needs to take karate classes. She found a studio that has openings and she booked him in. I’m thrilled for him to learn karate, as I know that it’s great discipline and builds strength, confidence and a kid who can stick up for themselves.

But it’s also spring season and I want our son to start playing baseball and soccer and spend some much-needed outdoor time when he’s not in school. I didn’t think it was an issue, so I signed him up for two recreational leagues, one for each sport.

Now my wife is furious, saying he has no time to do the sports I want, because he’s at karate five times a week! And why is he there so much? Because the package that she purchased is unlimited and she wants to get her money’s worth.

Our son is seven and should be trying all sorts of new things, to see what he likes and what he doesn’t, and to have fun. How can I get my wife to see that only going three or four times a week is just as beneficial, and that spending time outdoors doing other sports is equally as beneficial?

Karate Kid

There’s more to this story from your wife’s perspective. From your point of view, I would have to agree that spending time outside, playing baseball and soccer - both team sports where you learn co-operation, team mentality, a different kind of focus - are just as important as learning karate and practicing a few times a week.

Talk to your wife calmly. If your son can play your two sports and go to karate several times a week, what does she need to be happy?

FEEDBACK Regarding the tidy one (Feb. 28):
Reader – “It made me smile to read the letter from The Tidy One who picked up after her husband for 50 years.  That sounded a lot like my marriage except my husband never, ever, did the cooking (not even a boiled egg) nor the shopping or laundry (except his socks) in 54 years. But then, I refused to work in his busy medical practice, as well as raise our children and run our house.

“Marriage is give-and-take, sometimes a little unequal, but not worth fighting about. Now widowed, I would give the world to pick up his messes again and not argue over unimportant things.”

FEEDBACK Regarding orphaned again (March 2):
Reader – “As the questioner said, living solo is a real risk for her grandmother now.  She needs to see a doctor ASAP as you said. And if she is in Ontario, there should have been a call to Ontario Health at Home to see about a crisis placement, which, in the past, would have happened the same or the next day, with home supports until then.

“But now, the crisis placement list is months, there is a wait to see your doctor, and she likely needs a specialist, which will take even longer. What would have been equally helpful would have been to call her local Alzheimer Society, which addresses all the illnesses that cause confusion like this. And the plus is that they are located across this continent, so that’s advice that works for all your readers.”