I’ve been married for 26 years. I’m not bad looking because I’m a beautician (know how to take care of myself), and I also work out in the gym.

I certainly don't feel ashamed of my body.

I’m working from home (so around a lot) but feel that my husband has lost interest in me.

We’re just having sex like once a week, and for ten or maybe just five minutes. Once in a month or two, it may be more sex, and longer.

He’s 53 and uses some methods to stay with it for longer, but only when it suits him. When we sleep together, he never touches me and I always just see his back.

What is wrong? I’m tired of always hanging onto him and making the first step towards having sex.

Feeling Neglected

While you’re feeling overlooked he may be feeling awkward, embarrassed, and even scared. Men of his age sometimes find a change in their sexual stamina and may have developed some erectile dysfunction.

This is common, but many men don’t realize this or that there are treatments for it, so they just back off sex as much as possible.

It’s unfortunate for any partner and could be unhealthy for your husband, as any change such as this calls for a medical check to make sure there’s no health issue involved.

You should also be aware that studies in the United States, for example, find that for the majority of couples married for over ten years, once-weekly sex is most common.

However, since it’s a change for you two, you need to find out why. And it has nothing to do with your looks or figure.

Even if there’s no health factor, he’s less comfortable with his own sexual image, not yours. So start boosting him as the man you love, without pressuring him for intercourse quickly.

Cuddle, stroke, talk about whatever’s on his mind. When you “see his back” in bed, touch him, fondle him, and say loving things. It’s a proven start.

I’m the only sibling with children of her own (my youngest brother adopted his wife's daughter) so I have my parents' only biological grandchildren.

My mother and I aren’t close. She’s manipulative and controlling, so I limited her contact with my daughters when they were younger.

They’re both mid-20s now, so I let them choose whether they want to see their grandparents.

However, my never-married sister constantly tells the girls to contact them. When my daughter got married, my mother didn’t attend – “too far to travel” (four hours’ drive) - but asked my sister to take pictures of my daughter getting ready.

This daughter’s expecting her first child, and my sister is asking her to call my mother to report news of doctor's visits, etc., instead of allowing me to call with that news.

This is my first grandchild but my mother refers only to “her first great-grandchild.”

Am I wrong to think that my sister’s interfering is overstepping her boundaries?

Divided Family

There’s a lot “wrong.” Your daughters are adults; you don’t need to intervene between them and their aunt. Frankly, your controlling manipulative mother has been a model you can avoid copying.

Your sister’s trying to smooth a relationship you seem intent on keeping divided.

Enjoy your first grandchild, but stop adding to rivalry between yourself and your mother.

For the record, treating adopted children the same as biological children is what the commitment of adoption is about.

FEEDBACK Regarding the "sensitive" newcomer who doesn’t like being asked, “where do you come from?” (Oct. 24):

Reader – “I’ve been living in Canada for 25 years and am a proud Canadian (not a dual citizen).

“I still receive those “where are you from” questions. I’m not ashamed of my birthplace, although it’s the origin of bogus refugee problems for Canadian authorities.

“A question this person should ask him/herself - If your birth country was successful would you be proud of it?

“Like it or not, you’re an ambassador of your country of origin and you only fuel the stereotypes when you just don’t face them.

“Nobody can choose a birthplace and I’m sure you can find many reasons to be proud of it. Economy is just one side of life. There could be great cultural values, history, traditions, arts, etc. that no other country can match regardless of its current national monetary wellness or GDP.”