I’m a widow at 68 and find myself, for the first time in my entire life, living alone. I hate it! I grew up in a family of five, with two siblings. There was always action in my childhood home.

We all went to university but lived at home throughout, so the action, activity and chaos continued. My oldest sibling moved out when he got a job in another city. He never returned, having met his wife out there and started his family out there.

My other sibling moved out as soon as she got a job and was ecstatic to have her own place, but she then met a man and got married, so her solo living was short-lived.

And I met my husband while still living at home and attending university. When I graduated, I moved in with him and his roommate, and when we got engaged, we got our own place. After we married, we had two children of our own, but they have grown and live out of the house, one in another country.

I don’t mind spending time alone, but I don’t like sleeping alone in the house, cooking for myself, having no one else to care for or care for me. What do you suggest?

All by Myself

This may not be the popular choice, but I strongly suggest you get a dog. Not necessarily a large Rottweiler or Doberman to act as a guard dog, but more for companionship, a sense of need and responsibility, and no matter how large or small, ALL dogs can be trained to bark at noises and intruders.

With a dog, you have a reason to get up and out of bed every morning – the dog needs to be fed and walked. You can make new friends at the dog park or on your dog walks, and plan to meet them during the week. A dog will give you love and affection, which will enhance your spirit and dampen your sense of feeling alone.

And, as mentioned, any dog will bark at noises, including intruders, which should help you sleep easier. I also suggest you put an alarm on your home, if you don’t have one already; and a smart doorbell, so you can see anyone who approaches. I’ve also heard many people put bells on their doors for warnings of movement.

If you’re still uncomfortable sleeping alone, perhaps one of your grandchildren want to live with you for a while. At 68, you’re probably too young and healthy to live in a care facility, and doubtful you want a roommate you don’t know.

Another suggestion would be to rent out your basement, if possible. Then there’s another human living under your roof, from a safety perspective, though it doesn’t change the loneliness aspect.

If you still work, then you’re not alone for the better part of the day, unless you work from home, which you can then change. And if you no longer work, it’ll be up to you to find more activities for yourself. Tennis, pickleball, mah-jong, swimming, knitting, etc. Find your people through the things you already enjoy doing.

Lastly, you’re young! Get the word out that you’d like a companion and start dating. Find people who want to go to the movies with you, out for dinner, to the theatre and other community events. Don’t stay home wondering why you’re so lonely. It’s up to you to make a life for yourself.

Readers Commentary Regarding the estranged woman (June 30):

“My older sister and I cut ourselves off from our parents when we were kicked out of the house at 17; and our younger sister was sent away at 16 to live with grandparents in another country. We were physically beaten and humiliated in front of neighbours and friends; but the worst was the lifelong effects of mental abuse which never goes away even with therapy.

“I believe today people would step up, but back in the ‘60s they didn’t. Once my children were 18, I gave them the chance to meet my parents, and offered to join if they wished, but they chose not to.

“My husband and I provided love, nurturing, guidance and affection to our children with whom we are extremely close, as well as our grandchildren. I would rather die than have my children estrange themselves from me, but I know that would never happen when you give unconditional love to a child.”