We’ve been dating two years, living together for 21 months.

He was widowed three years ago - his wife died in a plane crash.

I’m a divorced career person, mother and pretty independent.

I noticed from the beginning that he wasn’t very affectionate. However, he tells me he loves me and is very close when we have sex.

I recently learned that he enjoys going to strip clubs with his buddies, while away on business. And, he even hires prostitutes to watch them together and take pictures.

I found over 1000 pictures in our computer hard drive, of naked women in suggestive poses.

He owns over 1000 copies of skin magazines and has posters of naked women in the garage.

I've asked him why he likes these pictures so much, he says its an expression of ART. But he’s spending increasing time downloading pictures and watching videos, instead of sharing intimate time with me.

I feel we're growing apart.

He’s also a control freak.

I’m holding back my feelings, afraid to speak out.

- Resentful

Find your voice and let him hear what real women sound like, instead of what he imagines when watching those pictures.

Nude art is one thing; using it to distance himself from real intimacy, which goes beyond just having sex, is quite another.

This man may’ve been traumatized by his wife’s tragic death, or he may’ve always been cool in person and hot only in his fantasies.

You didn’t know his obsession when you moved in together so soon (too soon), but you know now.

Pick up your courage and your suitcase, and leave this relationship, which is getting increasingly demeaning and less satisfying.

I fell in love with her when I first laid eyes on her.

I've confessed to her twice, both times rejected.

I don't know what to do. It hurts me to talk to her, I can't say how I feel for fear that she’ll stop being my friend.

I don't like this feeling anymore and I wish it would just go away.

- Flustered

When love at first sight isn’t mutual, it can be overwhelming to the other person.

If you keep pressing your feelings on her, you will push her away and lose the friendship.

Try to understand that she didn’t “reject” you, as a person. She just didn’t have the same type of feelings for you, yet otherwise enjoys being pals.

It’s your own wrong perception of being passed over, that’s hurting you so much. Once you stop wallowing in disappointment, your wounded ego will heal and you can enjoy her platonic company, or spend more time getting to know other girls with whom you may connect.

My sister-in-law is having an affair and phones me with all the gory details.

I know I shouldn’t listen but she hooked me early on with stories of guys who hit on her, and now I’m hearing secrets which would destroy my brother and end his marriage, if he knew!

What should I do?

- Lurid Tales

Get out of this mess. Tell her you want to be supportive if she has marriage problems and hope she and your brother get help. But say you can’t listen any more, as she’s playing with fire; she should talk to her husband before this blows up in her face when he inevitably finds out.

Better to have her shut you out, than lose your relationship with your brother because of a weakness for gossip.

My boyfriend of over two years loves me, I can see it, and I love him, but I’d like him to be more romantic.

I've told him but he takes it that I’m just complaining. I don't mean for him to buy me stuff because I'm not materialistic! But just to show his love in little details like writing me a letter, drawing something, cute things.

How can I make him see what I mean?

- Not So Romantic

Write him a letter, not too mushy, saying what you DO like about him. Bring him his favourite chocolate bar or other treat. Thank him for something small he did, like calIing you when he was out with friends.

If he reacts positively, explain that’s what you mean by small, caring gestures that’ll express his love.

If there’s no change, you may have to accept that he’s just not so romantic.