I was casually dating a man for three months and although we didn’t go on many dates (both young professionals with demanding careers), I enjoyed his company and thought he felt the same.     
      For two weeks, my work kept us from regular contact, but both agreed we’d see each other afterwards. However, when I attempted to re-connect, he rarely returned my calls or text messages.     
      I was prepared to write him off, but when he called for a date, I gave him another chance. He was rude to myself and to the wait staff at the restaurant, constantly messaged his friends by phone and the following morning was cold and indifferent.         
      When he next called, he claimed he was too committed to his work to be in a serious relationship. After stewing about the conversation, I asked him to call me (to arrange my retrieving my things from his apartment).      
      He then admitted that the real reason he ended things was because he felt there wasn't any chemistry between us. But the fact he’d still made a date (and I spent the night) makes me very angry.    
      I feel used. How do I move past this and not have it sour future experiences?
      - Offended

You missed his signals of rudeness and disinterest and now feel embarrassed plus angry with yourself. BUT don’t confuse your reaction from what was only a passing involvement, with losing trust in all future relationships.
      You hardly knew him and now you’re well rid of him. This guy pushes people away rather than speak up truthfully; and he takes advantage of whatever’s available, if he gets the chance.    
      YOU gave him that chance - now get past it. In the dating world, it’s a lesson worth learning before you care too much: Keep your things in your own apartment until there’s a clear, mutual signal that you’ve started a relationship.

I’m 35, he’s 38, we’ve been dating on and off for nine years. Recently, he’s taken me for granted - on Valentine’s Day, no gift. When asked, he said he was too busy working.    
      Friends say that’s ridiculous and unreasonable. I’m still upset and don't know whether I should leave or hang on, hoping things will get better.     
      He often says he loves me yet his words seem meaningless. He also forgot my birthday, New Year’s Eve, and our anniversary this year. Is he seeing someone else? Has he fallen out of love with me? Is there still hope?
      - Wondering

Maybe he loves you, in his way, but one thing is certain: He doesn’t care about holidays and celebrations. Instead of canvassing your friends’ opinions, ask yourself the all-important question: Do you love him?       
      After nine years, there’s no commitment from him and no attempt to try to hold on to you in ways that you care about. So the next move is yours.    
      Either accept him without the gifts – he’s unlikely to change in that area - or move on.

FEEDBACK Here’s an encouraging message to the woman whose 100-pound weight loss (February 3) turns potential dates off:    
      Reader – “While I've lost some weight, I'm still plus-sized and encountered men who equated being heavier with being desperate.    
      "I've since found someone fabulous and we recently got engaged. But it took a lot of first meetings and sorting through a lot of men who seemed more inclined to hurt than to help.    
      “Pretty Sad needs to believe in and celebrate herself.”

He’s 35, I’m 47 and after four months of dating our feelings have deepened. He’d like us to be a long-term couple. I’m falling in love but can't stop thinking about the age gap.     
      I’ve had kids; he hasn't had any (and says he doesn’t want to). I worry about robbing him of something he may regret in the future. Is this a relationship without a future?
      - Too Old?

He’s choosing a partner, not a mother. It’s not your job to protect him from his own feelings.    
      An age gap in a loving relationship doesn’t doom it, not when both people have the same commitment to make it work.     
      The only caveat is, as with all relationships, don’t rush. Early attractions are always exciting, but time will show whether any of your differences in life experience really matter.    
      Relax and enjoy what you have together and forego any official plans for several more months.