I really messed up. I love this girl to death but I did nothing but lie, lie, lie and then lie.
She put up with a lot of my bull for awhile; now I need help getting her back.
I was homeless and she took me in and let me stay with her and made sure I was fine.
She made sure I ate and she groomed me and clothed me. She had kids who hated me but she made them like me.
She wasn't ugly either, she was a former model who stopped modelling once she had children.
I mean I did everything wrong and I need help to do everything right.
Do you have any advice?

- Out There

It's hard to believe that a rational mother would take up with someone with nothing tangible to offer as a partner, and bring him into her home and her children's lives, despite their dislike of him.
It's even harder to believe she stuck by you since, no matter how hard she worked to build you up, you repeatedly lied to her.
But I know from the tens of thousands of letters I get, that, when it comes to their emotional life, some people want so much to have the romantic dream, that they throw good judgment aside.
In this case, you're both foolhardy - her, for trusting you despite your miserable response of lying to her; you, for not deserving her trust and kindness.
Here's the "right" thing to do: Start by bettering your own life, alone. Work at any job available and get yourself a place to live. Be honest. Do NOT pursue that woman.
She took on the impossible role of being an angel to you and you played her for a fool.
Send a note of apology to her and her children, and move on.

I've been in a relationship for one year with a man who's wonderful, but he suffers from depression. It's been under control until recently when issues came up that sent him deeper.
I've been supportive while he does everything possible to overcome this episode.
What are the chances of a relationship surviving this, long term?
As older adults, we've suffered many losses, come through and moved on, but this is something that I have no previous experience with.

- Concerned

Deep depression requires ongoing professional treatment, often including medication as well as regular therapy.
Of course, a strong, committed relationship on both parts can survive this situation, but you'll have an easier time of it if he allows you to talk to his therapist for better understanding of the condition and the treatment plan.
You should also get more informed on your own, to be better prepared to answer the question whether you feel ready to continue at his side.
Here's some of the research information out there: Men with depression typically have a higher rate of feeling irritable, angry and discouraged. The rate of completed suicide in men is four times that of women, though more women attempt it.
But self-help organizations, run by clients of the mental health system and their families, can be an important part of treatment and recovery for people with depression and their families.
Depression can be effectively managed and controlled by combining a healthy lifestyle and treatments.
Also, watching for early warnings of a relapse can possibly prevent a full plunge further.

• In Canada, for more information, see www.camh.net and SEARCH depression.

As my boyfriend of six years and I were breaking up, he announced, "You're 33, you're becoming an old, wilted, dried up prune. Good guys with a total package are hard to come by. You'll either end up babysitting a younger man, nursing an old grandfather, or become an old cougar. Let me know when you find someone better."
I left him, and enjoyed my freedom. But his comments keep repeating in my mind, making me angry.
Is what he said true or false?

- Dried Up?

If you keep playing that tape in your head of a rejected jerk's arrogant drivel, what'll happen is a massive waste of your time.
Don't let this blowhard get to you any more.
You're in a woman's prime years; even far older women know how to stay sexy, and desirable.
Dumping him proves you have the sense to make better choices than he predicts.