My husband’s a great man, and a fabulous father. He also doesn't let the little things in life bother him.

However, it means that he doesn't understand when I look at things differently. He refuses to talk about it, or accept that if I’m unhappy with a situation, it really is a problem.
Last month, I had a momentary lapse in judgment and let my temper get the better of me.

It resulted in what I see as a HORRIFYING and embarrassing situation. He told a bunch of his friends about it.

I’m not a fan of these friends, and they’re not fans of me.

He doesn't see what he did as betraying me, or wrong in any way.
Am I over-reacting, or is what he did really mean? I want him to see that he shouldn't have told anyone, and just kept our relationship business, private.

Devastated

The serious relationship problem is a lack of understanding of “team” unity.

You don’t have to agree on everything. But you both must have tolerance for how the other person sees things.

And, to protect the integrity of the couple/family team, any serious “misbehavior” should be kept private.

Yet, you both overreacted here.

Since he knows these people are already not fans, it was thoughtless (not likely intentionally mean) of him to reinforce their opinion.

To call this HORRIFYING is an overreaction.

What’s important is for him to understand that he was wrong.

If you’re widely apart on many issues he calls “small things” and you get emotional about, best to get to counselling.

A “great man, fabulous father” is worth every effort, and so are you for him.

My close friend got married recently. I was in the wedding party, though it meant my spending a lot of money and working tons of extra shifts to afford it.
She’d inherited a large sum of money less than a year ago, all of which she and her fiancé spent before their scheduled wedding.

The week prior to the wedding was so hectic, with them asking family members for money to pay for the hall rental (over $10,000) and bullying their parents into getting loans.
After all was put on credit cards and bank loans, none of which the couple is paying back to their family, I still don’t think they’ve learned anything about money management.
For this school year, they’ve both received government loans, and are already planning an expensive trip with that money.

When asked to join the trip, with all expenses paid by them, I declined as being 'busy'.
It’s not my business how they handle their money, but they could be evicted from their apartment soon.

I’m worried that even this won’t help them learn, as they’re blinkered against any money management.
Should I sit down, have an “intervention” with them, and warn them about their money management?

No Money Sense

No, to any intervention by an outsider who’s coming in as the “wiser” friend.

Someone in their family should be made aware, given their being already in debt for them.

The pressure of “no more handouts” should be stated, to insist on their getting professional money management through a bank, accountant, or experienced financial advisor.

You wouldn’t be appreciated in that role, since you cannot help sounding judgmental about their careless attitudes and annoyed about your own costs for their wedding.

If you’re close to a family member, drop a private hint that you fear they’re nearing the bottom line.

When do I talk to my child about bullying, and what do I say without frightening him? He’s four and shy, in pre-school.

Concerned Mom

Talk to his pre-school teachers about how they’re talking about, and handling, children who are aggressive, how they define bullying in terms the youngsters can understand, and what their policy is on it.

That’s a start. Ask other moms with whom you’re comfortable, how they handle or would handle an “incident” – e.g. another child hitting or pushing or biting their child. These are all ways that very young kids act out, but if they happen only once, related to a cause and effect (e.g. Someone taking their toy) it’s not necessarily bullying.

Take care not to rush to labels. Keep an open chat with your boy so he knows to tell you anything that happens to him, and doesn’t hide anything out of fear. Do report any suspected bullying at school.