My partner of nine years loves me but I’m perturbed by his Facebook activity, contacting or communicating with "old friends" even from grade school.      
      I’m 55, he’s 44 and I don’t understand the need. He says I’ve  “abandoned my high-school friends” but though I attended two reunions, and it was nice to see and chat with them, I need nothing more.      
      He’s had dinners with some “friends” and recently a woman from high school (presumably single) called him on his cell phone while I was with him.       
      These people weren’t his concern during earlier stages of our relationship. He says I’m unreasonable about this, yet I cannot get past it.  
      - Falsely Concerned?

Time for The Talk. IF he can’t at least acknowledge your concerns, then they’re valid. So be honest – say you fear he’ll “need” someone more than he needs you.     
      However, if he’s also honest, you must try to understand his feelings too. If he doesn’t have a supportive circle of current friends, his need for past connections isn’t alarming.     
      The compromise – if you both can handle one – is that he introduces you to these pals and includes you at dinner sometimes. Especially when there’s a single woman along.
      After nine years, if this can’t be resolved, you know what that really means.

My boyfriend of three years has a PSYCHO SISTER! When young, she hit him with a crowbar across the head; she’s always been jealous as his mother favoured him.      
      I worked at a restaurant when we started dating and her boyfriend worked there, too. She emailed me asking why I was telling her guy why I thought she was such a bitch. I responded I didn’t know what she was talking about. She then wanted to be my friend.    
      But my guy said she was crazy and didn’t want us to be friends. After they had a fight about something else, she retaliated by telling him that I’d said his best friend (her ex) had a bigger penis than him.      
      I confronted her, then discovered the next day she’d badmouthed me on the Internet. I started getting constant phone calls on my cell from guys all over the world. I called the cops, they called her, and the phone calls stopped.    
      The harassment started again online and I fed into it by calling her nasty names. She’s turned my boyfriend’s mom against me, creating fake profiles with me saying horrible things.     
      The mother says, “she’s my daughter!” but that doesn’t mean she’s right! I just want his mom to see me for who I am. My boyfriend won’t stand up to his sister and she’s always going to be there. She’s 25 and has two children. Should I just get out of this mess?
      - Going Nuts

Your boyfriend’s intimidated enough to fear another crack on the head … or the equivalent in worse harassment. But that’s not fair to you. If Sadistic Sis becomes abusive again, in any way, you should both call the police - no matter what his mother thinks.    
      Meanwhile, he MUST stand up to her, or your relationship won’t survive any continued nastiness. He might talk to her spouse for support, if possible; and he must talk to his mom to defend you and remind her of her daughter’s state of mind for years.      
      The family would do well to try to get her to a doctor to probe her behaviour and recommend therapy or other treatment. After all, two small children are at risk from her tendency to violence and mental abuse.

Feedback - More responses on Why People Cheat:       
      Reader - Some of the many complex reasons why people cheat have to do with a partner’s unmet psychological needs which often pre-date a marriage.    
      This is why people repeat the same patterns over and over, regardless of their marital circumstances. Rather than look for failings in a partner or in a relationship, people need to look within themselves.    
      Reader - It’s about choices. Cheating is always wrong, but sometimes the motivation behind the cheating is understandable.  It's not always gender specific, either: if one spouse sexually rejects the other, the rejected party will cheat.      
      And if a spouse emotionally abandons the other, cheating will also occur. Yet, some couples, as a RESULT of the cheating, make a serious commitment to the marriage and discover all the issues that lay beneath a lack of communication.