I’m a 23-year-old guy who likes to go into chat rooms posing as different people to find interesting conversations.
Recently, I went into the lesbians’ chat room and had a good talk with a 16-year-old girl, for hours; we kept chatting everyday for two weeks. Everything I said was true except about being a girl and 21. I even sent her pictures of someone I found on a dating webpage and she sent me some back too. It was never about sex, it was about getting to know someone.
But now I’m head over heels for this girl and she is with me too. She says she has to see my picture before going to sleep.
I know I made a mistake by going too far into this (and by lying). I want to tell her so badly that I’m a guy. She told me she likes boys too. But I don’t want her to be disappointed, I hate to break her heart.
She says I’m her first love.
The guilt is killing me.

- Wrong Call

You’re every mother’s nightmare – an internet phony, using lies and false photos to worm your way into someone’s trust.
You could be a guy who was curious to chat, or an axe-murderer, there’s no way of telling when someone uses deceit to get inside another’s mind and heart.
Leave this girl alone: write her the truth, then never contact her again. She’ll be hurt, but it’ll be a powerful life lesson for her to be cautious about confiding in strangers on the internet; and about never fully trusting an unmet “friend” until face-to-face meetings, several times in a public, safe place, with the knowledge of friends/family.
The only good you’ve done is to recognize your mistake and write me – so thousands of readers can learn this lesson, too.

I’m 21, and was dating a guy 15 years older; close people had a serious problem with the age difference and I ended up pushing many of them away.
Now, I have a strained relationship with my father because of my rebellion. He felt I was making a huge mistake. Though he was proven right, it was my mistake to make!!
I’m still madly in love with my ex-boyfriend even though I pretend to hate him... and I want to rebuild my relationship with my father.
Is there anyway to win?

- Wanting both ways

You can’t reconnect through a pretense. Your father wanted to protect you… he may have overreacted, said harsh things, but he was trying to save you from his ending up “right.” If you show him you now understand this, and thank him for his concern and caring, he’ll come around.
But if you keep insisting to him about your right to make mistakes, the rift will only widen.
Think of your ex as someone who helped you recognize some of what you seek in a life partner, and some of what you can’t handle, whether it’s his character, an age difference or estrangement from family.

My husband has to work out of town several days weekly. I get lonely, and act angry when he returns.

- What should I do?

Fill any free time from work and children with personal enjoyment. Visit with friends and family, watch a movie, read a book, pamper yourself with spa-like home treatments.
If there’s no other work choice for him, your accommodating will make his return more pleasurable for both.

My boyfriend and I moved in together a year ago, and had a baby four months ago. I thought we were having a great relationship but discovered he’s been cheating for over a year.
We broke up.
He wants my forgiveness and to get back together.
I want to give him another chance but feel that the hurt and distrust will cause insecurities that’ll tear us apart.

- Torn in Chicago

The baby deserves an intact family, so give the guy another chance. If he blows it, he’s not ready for family life, and denying his child and you that security.
However, if you are constantly snooping and checking up on him, that’s also destructive to everyone. He must explain to you why he cheated; you need to be able to forgive, and you both have to work on your relationship.
But this is no baseball game: two strikes and he’s out.