Dear Readers: Here are some live-chat views and personal stories about the ever-controversial topic, Should You Out A Cheater? (May 25). To start, a compelling account:

My ex-husband cheated on me. He was "out-ed" by the women he cheated with, but I chose not to hear them. One sent me hotel receipts; another called claiming to be pregnant. But I let him talk his way out of it because I was expecting our second baby and also had a toddler.

Even though I was university-educated and gainfully employed, I was trapped in the fear of being a single parent. Now I can't believe it took me another year and a half to file for divorce.

That's when my sister, whom I trust most in the world, confirmed she had direct evidence of his cheating but chose not to tell me because of my pregnancy.

I wish she had. If she'd sat me down and said, "This is what I know for sure" I doubt I'd have believed his explanations. I don't blame her for holding back this information. She didn't know how I'd react and may've feared risking our relationship.

I believe friends and loved ones do their best in very difficult situations. Ultimately, if we're really paying attention to what's going on in our relationships, we'd realize that we already have the answers we need.

Whenever my friend asks if I know if her husband's cheating - he is - I tell her "If your gut's telling you something, look into it."

That's bordering on a cop-out. Since she keeps asking, she'll later feel you let her down by not telling her the truth.

I've cheated in the past and worry it'll cause future partners to distrust me. How do I convince someone I've changed?

Come clean early on and explain why you cheated before. No gritty details, just an honest acknowledgement of what happened in the relationship, why you handled it that way, and how you've changed.

I've been married for ten years but am considering sleeping with another woman. My wife and I simply don't have sex enough. She knows she has a problem but refuses to talk or do anything about it. I love her and will never leave her, but I just want the physical pleasure of sex.

Tell your wife. Discuss what she can accept that you will do about this divide, since she'll do nothing. If she can't go along with your plan, weigh the consequences carefully (and protect her from STD's if you proceed).

What happened to words like truth, honesty, wisdom, and integrity? There are very kind ways to inform someone being cheated on that their partner's up to no good.

Sure there are. And sometimes there's the fallout, if it's a close friend or relative who didn't want to know. People do struggle with this question, and this is a forum to discuss it.

I wish someone had out-ed what my wife was doing, much earlier. But all those who knew were the many other married men/so-called friends of mine. We're working things out now but it'll never be the same.

You can blame most of that on her cheating, plus whatever part you may have played in her seeking an affair. But don't blame your friends, unless they helped her in this or directly cheated with her. That would be unforgiveable. Otherwise, if they knew, they may've felt they were "protecting" you or helping keep your marriage together. Why not ask them why they kept quiet?

I recently discovered that my ex joined a few dating sites and is very actively dating. Several times he tried to communicate with me and asked me to have dinner with him. Knowing him, he wanted more than just dinner. Why do men hurt a good woman all the time?

Both sexes include some people who are so self-centered that they go for whatever they can get. You've been there, done that with this guy, and are now too smart to fall back into that hurtful mess.

My boyfriend goes on Internet video chats, flirts with girls, and shows off his body. I caught him but played dumb. What should I do?

Out him yourself. It IS dumb to let this pass. He's seeking female attention elsewhere. If you don't confront this now, there's little hope that he won't continue doing it, through direct cheating.