We’ve living common-law for 12 years; he’s much older than I am but we get along very well, don’t have children together and have become financially stable over the years.     
      Though I love him, I’ve not been in love with him for eight years. We’re never intimate because I refuse. I don’t know what made me change.     
      This only bothers me when I see someone else who’s single and might be compatible with me. But I know I’d be breaking my guy’s heart, and the guilt would eat me alive, if I moved on. I’ve never cheated on him. I’m not looking for someone else, but when they do pop up they’re either financially unstable or not compatible.     
      How important is being in love with your mate when everything else is so good? And, if I should move on, how can I do as little damage as possible to him?
      - Turning Point?

How important is romantic love?    
      For those who don’t miss it because their lives are full with other emotional satisfactions, it may be considered just an over-hyped fantasy. In your case, the devotion you feel towards this man and your stable home life, could be enough. But then, you wouldn’t be looking around and writing for advice.
      For those who find romantic, intimate love with someone they respect, it’s more than icing on the cake ... it’s their sustenance.       
      You can’t stay happy with someone you don’t love IF you’re restless, checking out other men, and refusing intimacy. After eight years of this rejection, he already knows you’re unlikely to stay forever.

I’m a young professional who’s recently relocated for a new position; I’ve also started to talk with an ex-girlfriend who’s been a close friend since 10th grade. We’ve had many dramatic events mostly caused by my impatience for her cruel treatment, dishonesty, and a lack of reaction.
      Yet, we always re-connect. When I’m not being my cynical self, I realize I’ve been in love with her for a long time and have difficulty dating others. I’ve found myself sleeping around and accepting relationship offers just to prove to myself I can have something else. But I never find a way to be happy.        
      I took my ex-girlfriend out for coffee and expressed (admittedly, in a harsh manner) my dissatisfaction for the inappropriate way I felt I was being treated. A year later, we’ve started to talk. Explaining that she was angry but is moving on, she said she’d like to be friends.      
      Considering what seems like the only love I have ever felt, do I continue a platonic relationship to see if this person is the person I’m still in love with?
      - Wanting

Read my lips: Cruel treatment, dishonesty, lack of reaction. Yet, you define your feelings for the person who treats you this way, as “love.” I say, that’s your “cynical” side talking and it’s time you stopped listening.    
      You expect too little from love, perhaps even suspect that you don’t deserve better. And you’ve made an obsession out of this stale, one-sided romance, and just slept around rather than risk investing in an equal relationship.     
      No, you should NOT continue as platonic friends, when your real agenda is to see if she’ll change and love you. Stop hoping and hurting. Look at this new job and new move as a fresh start in your life, including being open to meeting new women friends with whom you can build mutual closeness, respect, and caring. That’s where love starts.

I’m mid-20s and have always wanted to have breast augmentation surgery. But after losing my job, I feel I don't deserve the surgery, though I can get an interest-free loan. My family isn’t supportive, suggesting I just buy better clothes. My fiancé is supportive, so long as I'm happy. How can I stop going back and forth between doing something I want and guilt?
      - Depressed

Your signature, “Depressed,” is key to which decision you should make, for now: WAIT and deal first with your mood. Going ahead with surgery while in a low state can affect your recovery and your satisfaction with the result.
      See your doctor for your current mental health state, get pro-active about finding a new job, and keep up exercise and good nutrition. Once you’re feeling confident and optimistic again, do some research and discuss the operation and its involvements with more than one surgeon, before going ahead.