I’m 18, a female in my second year in college. I met this man a month ago, we had sex only once, but that was a day after my safe days were done and the guy took no precautions.

My period is several weeks late. Is it possible that I could be pregnant? If so, what do I do?

How do I tell him? He’s a married man who’s only been married for nine months.

If he denies responsibility, what do I do?

Desperate in Zambia

Much depends on your own and your family’s belief system regarding unmarried pregnancy, raising a child, or having it adopted, or whether early abortion’s acceptable or not to you, and those who matter to you. These are your decisions to make, soon.

Take a pregnancy test immediately through a pharmacy-sold kit or clinic. If it’s positive, talk to your parents, as you need their support.

See a doctor for medical information, a school counselor regarding your ability to stay in university, and your faith leader if that’s appropriate for you.

You and this man took huge risks, and now need to move quickly to get informed about the consequences and responsibilities.

If you are carrying his child, he should not be “protected” now.

You both squandered the chance to protect yourselves – him, from the fallout of his adultery, and you from becoming pregnant (or contracting an STD) before you even understand all that it means.

I had a crush on a lady friend at work. I asked for her Facebook and phone number.

But I learned she had a boyfriend, so I kept my distance.

Recently, I heard she broke up with him. We started talking again.

I texted her that I had a crush on her. Her response wasn’t memorable.

Then we had our first dinner together, and I helped her fix her computer after a few weeks.

But I felt I was putting more effort into this compared to her. I was always the one texting her and asking her to go out. I'm not sure if she's interested in me or not.

We were both always working and also studying.

Meanwhile, I met another girl online, we get along great and have lots in common.

She seems more interested in me compared to the above girl. We constantly chat and text each other.

And we find time to see each other.

But I learned about her past that she was previously married, her partner was abusive, and they’re separated.

I’m wondering if I’m ready to take on this relationship knowing her past, and also that there are gaps between us in education and career.

Stuck and Confused

It’s too soon to make definitive decisions about either woman.

Your co-worker is someone you’ve been attracted to, and with whom you seem to be on equal footing. But so far, she’s not eager for more than a friendship. So consider her as a work buddy, stay connected, but without expectations of more.

The second woman wants your company and you enjoy being with her. But her life’s more complicated… divorce will take time, and her abusive ex may yet cause problems for her.

You need to spend more time getting to know her to see if you can bridge the “gaps” you mention, and whether she’s carrying much baggage from her past. You’ll be dating but her separated status can keep you both from getting too serious too soon.

My sister made it very clear to her wedding guests that all the couple wants is money.

When I asked if she’s sent out thank-you cards six months later, she responded, "Nobody does or cares about thank-you cards anymore. I'll get to it when I get to it. I gave out bonbonnieres and that was thanks enough!"

These were $5 gumball machines. Our other sister travelled from another country to attend, and gave her $100.

My sister was irate over the “small amount.” She clearly considered her wedding as a cash grab. How do I reason with someone who’s completely selfish?

Embarrassed Sister

You don’t even try to reason because you’ve known this sister’s nature for years, as has her other sister.

Ignore her. Be gracious to those guests whom you know personally, saying how nice it was for them to be present. If they think she’s an ungrateful bride, it needn’t reflect on you.