My girlfriend and I are in the middle of planning a canoe trip with another couple who we’ve become friendly with through mutual friends. We were initially all going to go together, but the mutual friends couldn’t get that time off from work. So, we decided to go just the four of us.
We’re all excited and planning routes, menus, and packing lists.
Recently, my girlfriend and I went for dinner with the couple who can’t join us. They didn’t realize that we were still going ahead with the trip. They’re not upset, but they decided to warn us about the other couple.
They told us that they bicker all day in the canoe. It’s not rude or intrusive, but after a while, it becomes annoying. But that’s not the big issue. The big issue is that they have very loud sex at night in their tent. No hiding what they’re doing. And then back to bickering during the day.
It’s too late for us to cancel the trip – the canoes have been rented; the sites paid for. How do we handle this?
Sonic Sex
This is a sticky situation…. You really can’t pre-empt their behaviour because then it would be obvious that your mutual friends were talking about them and that’s not nice. So, just go for it. Be prepared for the bickering and make light of it. Ever see the TV show, “The Bickersons”? Your friends aren’t the first couple to spend their days arguing.
And regarding the loud sex, again, you can’t really pre-empt, so…. if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! Just have your own version of raucous sex. The four of you can laugh about it in the morning over an open fire.
How old do your children have to be before you need to stop walking around naked in front of them?
Nudity is Healthy
I agree. Nudity is healthy. But there is a time and a place. Experts say that once your own children start to be aware, which is different for everyone, and you sense their discomfort, it’s time to become more discreet. Simple examples, wear a robe to and from the shower; wear pyjamas until you’re going to sleep; get undressed in your own room.
Dear Readers – Recently, I was invited as a guest up to a friend’s cottage. It’s a remote cottage with limited water, electricity and internet. It’s anything but modern. In fact, the only way to access the home is by water taxi. I had never been there before and asked what I could bring to be the best guest.
Lots of drinking water was a must, along with breakfast for one morning, and dinner for one night. We were also asked to bring towels for beach and bath, and full bedding: sheets, pillows and a blanket. We brought all that was asked of us and then some.
We had a wonderful weekend, slept well on our own sheets and pillows, and felt comfortable eating their food knowing we had brought plenty to share. We helped clean up after every meal and cleaned up after ourselves before leaving. While saying our goodbyes, our hosts exclaimed taghat we were some of the best guests they’ve ever had. For the sake of this column, I asked why.
The answer? We didn’t turn their long-weekend getaway into a work weekend. Rather, we gave them the opportunity to rest and relax. So next time you’re invited to someone’s cottage, chalet or country house, ask what you can bring and offer to bring even more. Be helpful and don’t treat their second home like a hotel. There is no maid service.
FEEDBACK Regarding the aging co-worker (April 15):
Reader – “That aging co-worker may have a serious health issue such as Early Onset Dementia or a brain tumour. It could also be symptoms of Transient Global Amnesia or a brain injury, such as a stroke.
“I have experienced this in my office and in my family. I would suggest this writer either speak to the individual (if deemed a safe option for her/him), a trusted family member of the individual or even her boss or human resources. Something like this could be serious and should not just be covered up. It may require medical intervention.”
Concerned
FEEDBACK Regarding nail biting (Jan. 30; April 23):
Reader – “There are some God-awful products out there that you paint on your nails. I have successfully not bitten for 10 years, but I still have to use the nasty stuff when my nails are short. I still have the habit but no longer have the ragged results.”