My boyfriend of one year and I have an apartment together. He works at McDonald's. I have a job basically guaranteed there, and have had trouble finding work elsewhere. I'm already friends with almost everybody there. They always come to our place after work.

I've never had a job before. I've heard so many horror stories about couples working together, especially if they also live together.

Should I work with him, or would it be a bad idea for our relationship? He's about to be made a manager, so he’d be my boss. Could that make a difference?

Bad Combo?

You may not have work experience, but you have good instincts on relationships. It is somewhat risky to join the workplace where your boyfriend would be your boss.

Keep looking elsewhere for a job, or ask if you can be recommended to another McDonald’s location.

If you do end up working together, set up some agreed boundaries beforehand, e.g. no personal arguments on the job, no sharing personal details about each other with work-mates, and definitely no putdowns or work criticisms delivered in front of others.

I’m a male, 19, finished my first year of university.

A student I befriended, “X”, had endured physical and emotional abuse from family who don’t accept his sexual orientation.

I opened up to him, became his friend, tried to help him. A mistake.

He’s become very demanding. If I don’t respond to a text quickly enough, he writes long, vague Facebook posts, explaining how horrible "J" is, among other mind games. He jumps to irrational conclusions about me. I know this "J" is me, as he’s told me so.

If he’s upset with me, he goes behind my back and tells people secrets I’ve told him… secrets that have damaged relationships.

I’m pretending to still be his friend. I want to move on, but have no choice. He has dirt on me, and I fear if I cut ties he’ll ruin my current relationship.

Afraid and Stressed

-“Dirt” doesn’t harm you for long, when you confront it. Be open with your current relationship, tell him that “X” is likely to try to come between you, and why.

If this affects things between you, at least you have nothing more to fear. Since you’ll be sincerely trying to save the relationship, you may be able to make up.

X’s bullying will continue unless you head him off this way. He’ll eventually sense your disinterest in the friendship, and ramp up the pressure.

Better to be upfront with close people, and also try to avoid sharing “secrets” with people who are emotionally needy.

I recently moved back home after graduating university. My mother’s redecorating, with HORRIBLE taste. She’s also very indecisive.

Being an artist, I have an eye for these things. She asks me for decorating advice, but NEVER agrees.

If I tell her the truth about her choice, she gets upset. I told her I'm not going to take part in the decorative process because we clearly have different taste, and she doesn't like when I'm honest.

But she still asks me for my opinions!

Décor Divide

Her house, her rights to decorate, as she will.

This is a mother-daughter power struggle dressed up in new materials.

She’s indecisive, that’s her nature. She asks your input as a gesture to acknowledge your artist’s “eye.” However, it doesn’t change her personal taste or her indecision.

When you eventually move out, your own place -decorated by you with your own money - will look very different from hers.

FEEDBACK Regarding the issue of whether to visit people with dementia in nursing homes:

Reader – “A few years ago, I met an elderly gentleman who came to visit his friend at a palliative care home where I worked.

“I got to know him and one day asked why he was rushing off back to Toronto. He said, "Every day I visit my wife at the nursing home. I’ve been married to her for over 60 years and we’re still very devoted to one another but she suffers from dementia."

“I asked if she still remembers him and knows who he is. He responded, "No, but I still know her."

Ellie – Once, when I’d gone for a walk with my mother, who was in similar condition, she said, “You’re such a nice girl. Whose daughter are you, dear?”

It was enough to know she was enjoying herself, whomever I was.