I’m 27, a healthy, easy-going, nice guy but my relationships last only a week or two before I end them. I thought it could be the women, but lately I think it’s me. I’m attracted to the same sex and I’ve contemplated it awhile, but that’s led to confusion and sleeplessness. 

I can’t discuss this with my friends or my family, who are very religious.

What should I do?

Should I act on these emotions or are they just a result of endless amount of broken relationships?

- Confused

You’re at a crossroads whether as a straight or gay male. Your insecurity, confusion and feelings of family pressure, will affect any relationship you have with women or men, until you’ve sorted out your own identity and sexuality. 

I recommend counselling to help develop independence and self-esteem.

No one knows enough about another person in a week, especially when there’s much about yourself that you’ve still to learn.

When seeking a therapist – through a doctor’s recommendation or a professional association of registered therapists or psychologists - make it clear in the search that you also need to discuss sexual identity without prejudice.

I’m 18, with two kids and the father hasn’t been truthful since the start – he’s cheated, talked to other females behind my back, chats on a website and says things you shouldn’t say when in a relationship. But I keep taking him back, and I never cheated on him. 

Now I’ve found two girls’ numbers in his phone and he said they’re friends so I called one. She said she met my boyfriend on the website.

He got his things and left because I said I can’t take it any more.

Should I believe him that she’s really his friend’s girlfriend from that website or should I let him go?

I really don’t want to let him go because of the kids.

- Depressed

Your children are already getting the short end of this relationship, since they’re living with your distrust and unhappiness, plus his lies and distractions while cheating. It’s a crummy set-up for them, and it’s also dragging you down when you’re already disadvantaged by your poor choices. 

The negatives are unfortunately set – you had your babies too young, with a guy who’s irresponsible. The opportunity for improvement for yourself and your kids is in your hands. Get rid of this loser and focus on how you can make a better life.

Boosting your education and skills, in whatever time you can find to do so, will help you eventually get a decent job and provide you with some pride and confidence. That is the self-image you want to have for your own and your children’s sakes, rather than their seeing you depending on this jerk or any other.

My in-laws are coming for a week, and my wife won’t tell them we have no room, as we’ve just moved our toddler out of our room into the former guest room, so we can get some sleep. They can afford a hotel.

- Standoff Situation

Book the hotel for them, and offer to split the cost, since this is an unexpected development. If they’re reasonable people, they’ll likely cover the whole cost.

My brother, 62 and his son, 28, moved in with my mother, 92; neither work. 

My brother never visited our mother before and only had hateful things to say about her; they don’t get along.

She’s very unhappy, highly stressed and her health is deteriorating, but she feared they’d be homeless.

I’m watching these freeloaders take advantage – they’ve depleted her savings, which she willingly gave because she felt sorry for them.

What can I do?

- Distressed Daughter

See a lawyer, fast. You’re already likely facing a battle about her future care and her will. 

It’s clear that they’ve moved in on her when she’s vulnerable, and may well exert undue influence on those matters.

Keep a record of the changes you see in her and her handouts to them. Also, be watchful for any signs of emotional and physical abuse, and prepared to notify local officials for protection of the elderly.