My fiancé was initially clear that any future partner would need to accept his hunting and fishing hobby. It's only two weeks annually, which was fine with me.
However, things have changed. My fiancé and his brother are constantly planning hunting and fishing trips "whenever we want."
I was so excited to be getting married, but he wants nothing to do with the plans. He's even joked that we should go hunting on our honeymoon! I never want to stop him from pursuing his hobbies, yet he doesn't want to make my dreams (of a warm weather vacation) come true either. I feel there's no compromise.
I'm feeling like walking away from this relationship. I didn't think his hobby would take precedence over us. Yet I'm afraid I may regret leaving.
Undecided
Halt the wedding plans and focus on the relationship. The Great Hunting Debate has become a power grab from your guy (trying to please his brother, too). But it's really about both of you needing to feel heard and understood. If this doesn't get learned soon, it won't happen later.
Don't walk away, yet. Tell him you're each pulling in different directions - you're (naturally) all about the wedding and honeymoon, but he's (anxiously) digging in his heels on his so-called "rights." Hunting and fishing are the metaphor. Tell him you'll go along one day to see if you can enjoy some of it - but not for the honeymoon.
Also, he needs to start dividing his free time between his special hobbies, with time with you alone.
I'm in a committed relationship with a man whose grown daughter doesn't like me, because her father got involved with me before leaving his marriage. I understand this and haven't pushed for a relationship.
However, she's getting married, and told her father that she doesn't want me at her wedding. He says he won't go unless I'm invited.
I don't really care either way, but want him to be happy and also to not miss his daughter's wedding. He feels that even if she doesn't "like" me, she should still respect that I'm a part of his life. Is this the right thing to do or is there a better way to handle this?
Excluded
There's no "right way," only accommodations on everyone's part. Once her father starts raising "do the right thing," she can easily shoot back negatively about his extra-marital affair with you. It's a no-win argument for him to use, and can worsen the divide between her and you.
If at all possible, talk to her personally and say you understand her feelings, that you do not feel you must attend, and that you wish her well for the wedding. Then add that, as she knows, her father feels strongly about being with you and if she can think of any compromise that the two can handle, you'll go along with it. If you can't say this to her, say it to him.
There are many ways people handle this kind of post-divorce wedding celebration. Example: You could miss the ceremony and arrive later to sit with her dad at the reception.
Or, he goes alone for just the ceremony and leaves. Or, he goes alone for the whole event, and you two host a small dinner either before or after the wedding, for the bride and groom, groom's family, and whomever else is appropriate. That way he gets to participate along with his partner, you.
Last year I moved from middle school to high school, and lost some friends who went to other schools, we lost touch. I have few friends in this school and fewer who are close, to hang out.
I feel I'm becoming socially awkward. A lot of people are stereotypically popular and real snobs. So it's becoming harder to talk to people and make new friends. How can I become more social and improve my skills with conversation and making friends (which wasn't a problem till I came here) so I can expand my circle and not die alone?
Alone
You're NOT alone - in every high school, yours included, there are like-minded students who don't relate to the snobbish clique. You'll find them on sports teams, in the drama club, film club, art workshops, school band, and other interest groups.
Get involved doing something you like and conversation will come easily.
Tip of the day:
The BIG ISSUE is often a metaphor for a power struggle in the relationship.