I like my friend but can't stand her kid. The child's behaviour either annoys my two children of similar age or they copy his antics, doing things they'd normally never do.

 I can handle this boy in small doses but my friend has asked me to go away on a family holiday together. I dread spending so much time with these kids. How do I refuse politely or do I put up with it to save the friendship?

Awkward in China

If you value the friendship, finding a valid excuse for refusing may be the easiest solution (e.g. Husband insists on family alone time, or parents joining you instead, etc.) 

Otherwise, if you do travel together, pack a huge amount of diplomacy and patience.

 Use these traits to 1) keep the kids apart sometimes, 2) put boundaries on children's behaviour that applies to all of them, and 3) model a parenting approach which helps your friend get what her child is doing, and that the behaviour is unacceptable to most other families.

 Meantime, it's an act of true friendship on your part, to try to accomplish the above even while not on vacation together. 

So long as you're not being unreasonable in your judgment, this child needs help learning to stop being annoying, so he can be more easily welcomed by his friends' parents.

A year ago, my friend moved in with my husband and me. She'd been living with her adult son and taking care of his kids, but he'd kicked her out after a huge fight.

 I was clear that she could crash at our place until she got on her feet. I said, "Don't worry about rent (she didn't have a job), just do our housework while you're looking for work." 

She went to a couple of interviews but never got hired. Now her relationship with her son has improved, so she's watching his kids again (not seeking work). She's also not helping in the house. 

She uses all the detergent and never replaces it, leaves doors unlocked, lights on. Our power bill has doubled. I've talked to her about these things - no effect.

 My husband's really annoyed with her and says it's my responsibility to ask her to leave, since I invited her. We're also thinking about kids, and want to turn her room into a nursery.

 I'm HORRIBLE with confrontation, and don't know how to raise this. 

Difficult in Oregon

You and your husband should talk to her together, clearly and firmly. Give her three months to leave, as the arrangement "isn't working out as it was agreed." She's neither looking for work to pay rent, nor pulling her weight in the house. 

Don't stress on how this affects your friendship - she didn't worry about it when she began abusing your hospitality. Any "mutual" respect is already gone, on both sides.

 You don't have to mention the future plans for children. It's your house. 

Get her to sign the three-month agreement, which you can draw up yourselves. When the time comes, you may need a lawyer if she's still there.

-"Partly-arranged" marriages are my family's cultural tradition. My parents and relatives are starting to be affected by this, for me. 

What can I do to avoid it, short of running away from home?

Terrified

Talk to your parents about your feelings. Say that when you're personally ready for marriage you might be open to introductions (this'll appease them for now) but anything further will be your choice.

My husband's had two dogs for years before we met. We're now happily married with a little boy. My husband recently said he eventually wants to be cremated, and his ashes mixed with the ashes of his dogs. 

I felt "left out," so he said he'd share some ashes with mine. I refuse to be buried with his dogs' ashes; I don't feel the same bond with them. Should I let him do whatever he wishes, or insist I want him all to myself after life? That's how I feel. 

Uncomfortable

Let this rest awhile, if there's no health urgency. Wills are personal legal wishes and documents, and he CAN do as he pleases. 

But, he may change his mind over time as his emotional attachment and history with his child and with you becomes at the very least, equal to that with his dogs. Raise the topic again, in a year.