My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and in love. 

We’ve both agreed that if things continue this well, we’ll most likely get married. I’m 22, he’s 25; he wants to marry in two years, and start having kids in three.

I’m starting out in my career, and we both still live at home.

I’d rather live together in the next few years, then get married in my late 20’s and not have children for a few years after that.

How can I get him to stop rushing things without him thinking I’m not serious about us?

- Concerned

Explain that you feel just as happy in the relationship, but think you should take each step in turn, without having a fixed schedule. 

However, listen closely to his response. He may not be as comfortable with living together before marriage; if so, you may have a conflict of values rather than just of timing.

Explore any big differences between you rather than fixate on the ones that may change with time and circumstances.

I’m new to relationships and find that work stress makes me too nervous to enjoy my guy’s company, but my being distracted puts him off and he thinks I don’t care for him anymore. 

What can I do?

- Agitated

Speak up, gently and honestly. A relationship means there are two of you in this and you owe him a clear explanation of what’s going on in other parts of your life. 

You also owe yourself to learn how to handle stress. When work gets tough, clear your schedule of unnecessary extras and focus on it, even if it means going in early or staying late for several days.

Fretting will only muddle your mind and interfere with all your personal connections. Help him understand what you’re doing and make it up to him when the workload lessens.

I’m a widow in my mid-60s and started dating three years after my husband died. 

The third man I dated said he loved me after barely a couple of weeks, and wanted to live with me. I liked him but didn’t know him long enough; also, I “felt” he had other women around. We broke up after three months and he almost immediately went to live with another woman whom he’d been “friends” with while seeing me.

I’m told I should grab any man as there are more women than men my age; but I’m still looking for love.

Are there decent men who don’t just want someone to look after them and their sex life, and preferably live in her home using her finances?

I live in a small town.

- Still Want Love

Love may not be waiting right around the corner, but Trouble is, if you rush into letting someone move into your home before you get to know and trust them. 

For someone with limited access to men, your dance card’s been busy, so you appear to be very sociable. Let your friends and relatives know that you’re looking to meet only men who hold a similar interest in finding a loving, equal relationship.

Since each new friendship opens a door to other contacts who might introduce you to that special man, consider travelling to the nearest city to join a weekly/monthly group of volunteers, a study group, or a faith-based organization.

The more you broaden your horizons, the more interesting your life, even during the time it can take to find real love.

I’m a guy, 18, living with a friend; but this girl is ALWAYS here because she’s so in love with him. He doesn’t feel the same, and has tried to tell her he just wants to be friends. 

She’ll cry and stay away a couple of days, but then be right back. He’s even afraid to bring another girl here in case this one loses it.

- Constant Company

He’s actually stringing her along with his weak protests, since he keeps opening the door to her visits and her obvious attention. He must tell her straight that she can’t hang around. 

If he really intends to stay friends, he should set limits on the time and place of their getting together, e.g. a weekly chat somewhere neutral like a coffee shop.

If you’re sharing rent, you also have the right to decide with him how much company can camp out there.