My husband of 22 years is overweight and it's affecting our sex life. We've tried counselling, he's been to a nutritionist, and we’re members of the YMCA. They work for a while but then he goes back to his old ways.

He’s often too tired after work to go to the gym. He overeats if we’re out, and on weekends he drinks beer and coolers, which he admits is a main reason for his excess weight, plus his snacking on pepperonis.

If I say that his weight is a turnoff, he gets angry. He's convinced we don't have sex often because I'm post-menopausal and uninterested. That does have some bearing, but I just don't find his body attractive. I close my eyes to avoid seeing the rolls.

He’s 60, I'm 57 and I know sex can still be great these years. He's a great provider, kind and considerate in all other matters.

- Slim Romance

You can lead a pepperoni eater to steamed vegetables, but it’s hard to make him bite. He has to want to lose weight for his own reasons. Sex isn’t driving him, but his health and longevity may.

Obesity is a contributing factor in many serious medical conditions including heart disease and high blood pressure. At his age, it’s a risk for developing a debilitating or even fatal condition. Get him this information from a reliable health web site, insist he see his family doctor for a check-up, then, back off talking about sex as the reason.

You, too, should see your doctor about post-menopausal symptoms and their effect on libido; there are natural treatments and creams that can help.

If you love the guy, he needs your caring to support him through the efforts of weight loss.

How does an adult child tell a loving mother she talks too much?

- Barraged

She wants attention and deserves it – allot “her special time” to call; visit her regularly; help her to find a friendship group.

I’m a divorced single mom, with four children and shared custody.

When my kids were at their dad’s house for the weekend, I learned from my son, 15, that my niece and her family were visiting and swimming in the pool.

My niece is like a sister to me, close to my age. It hurt that she was visiting my ex.

I recently moved into a new house 40 minutes from her. She’s said she can't wait to visit. So I’m also hurt as my ex lives not much closer to her.

Shouldn’t family come first? Should I tell her how I’m feeling?

- Left Out

I’m betting that it’s about the pool. It’s fairly common that most people, when invited along with their children, for a swim, will grab at the chance.

Also, she was with your children and may’ve been doubly pleased to be invited and see them. If she’d been friendly with your ex in the past, it would’ve been hard to pass up.

Invite her over when all the kids can get together, and make it a pleasant occasion, not a blaming session. At some other time, you could discuss with her how you feel about your extended family’s involvement with your ex.

Personally, unless he was abusive to you and/or the children, I feel it’s far better for the kids if some contact continues. It’s a relatively normal occurrence for people to sometimes see “ex-relatives” so long as they’re not continually favouring them.

I’m 26, involved for four months with a woman, 30, with two sons ages 12 and 8. She’s been divorced for five years and the father of the boys has been absent from them until just recently.

The youngest boy is okay with our relationship, but the oldest doesn't respond when I talk to him, he walks away, and acts up in public.

What can I do?

- Worried

The boy needs reassurance by both you and his mom that he’s not being replaced by you in her affections. He needs to hear that you’re there as a friend to him only, not to replace his father.

Give him time, don’t expect “love” or “obedience,” just normal respect (and that too may be shaky awhile).

If he continues to act out, she should recognize he has fears about his life being disrupted again, and consider counselling to help him adjust.