I’ve been married five years; we both have kids from previous marriages, but her kids tore us apart.
They live with their other parent now; the only time they talk to her is when they need something.
Then someone said I was having an affair, she left, but it was untrue, so she came back to me. Things were going fantastically, but now we’re separated again and some of her co-workers want her to leave me permanently.
Despite all the things that happened to us, we still have that special bond that comes once in a lifetime.
Why can’t people just leave us alone? Why can’t they see that we’re happier when we’re together? Their own lives are screwed up, and they should deal with their own problems.
I just want her back, I know in my heart we can make it work.
People will leave you alone, if they don’t know your private business. It sounds like your wife is sharing family dramas whenever they happen and canvassing for advice. Maybe she does so for attention, or because she’s so troubled.
However, if she’s seeking comfort, she needs to talk to YOU more, about how to work on your relationship together. Initiate this conversation. If she’s looking for direction, she needs to get counselling and stop bouncing in and out of this marriage. Suggest going for marital therapy, together.
The current situation is unhealthy for all of you, especially the children.
Her children are more likely to re-connect with her, once they find her more settled and stable in her decision, instead of constantly reacting to gossips.
My boyfriend of two years recently broke up with me, rather suddenly. He just couldn't deal anymore with my insecurity and jealousy. (I’m now getting help for it.)
I took the breakup badly… I broke into his phone, listened to his messages, and learned he was already dating someone.
He’s now furious with me.
I've tried apologizing but he wants nothing to do with me.
Is our relationship a lost cause?
Yes, it’s over. You confirmed his fears about your insecurity by crossing the line. Once you were split up, he had a right to date; you had NO right to snoop.
If you don’t learn from this experience how destructive jealousy can be, you’ll repeat the pattern with your next boyfriend.
Extreme insecurity is usually rooted in your own past. If you want to conquer it, stay with the counselling.
Whenever my wife and I start a discussion about something that happened to her at work she gets hurt by my suggestions.
I’m just trying to help her solve a problem – say, with her boss - by pointing out how she could’ve handled the situation differently. But when I say what I think, she gets mad at me and says I’m not being supportive.
What’s a guy supposed to do… lie and say she did everything right, even if she didn’t?
- Too Honest
There’s honesty, and there’s blunt insensitivity masked as truth telling.
So a wife (or a husband) comes home from work with a problem. First rule: listen, and acknowledge that she or he had a hard time, whatever the situation. Second: recognize that your partner is an adult, not a child, and doesn’t need a lecture or lesson from you.
Being supportive means showing that you care, and that you trust that the other person really can handle problems, but just needs a hearing, some soothing, and some encouraging words.
I’m a single woman, early 30's, looking to meet single guys around my age.
I'd like to get married and start a family.
I've never been into the bars.
How do I go about meeting single guys?
Race isn't important.
The older I get, the harder it is to find someone, since most people in their 30's are already established.
Yes, it’s harder to meet Mr. Right; but there are very good reasons, which can benefit your search: 1) You’re more sure of your goal and want a guy who’s interested in a potential relationship, not just fun dates; 2) You’re more selective than when you were younger.
I’m glad that you’re also open to different backgrounds, and willing to tap resources for help. Take that openness everywhere you go – the local community centre, gym, bookstore, activities. And alert your network that you’re willing to be set up.
Tip of the day:
To gossipmongers, your marital problems are pure entertainment.