My ex-boyfriend and I dated five years, and then broke up for three years; I walked away because he was mean to me and his sister and mother don’t like me (I heard this from friends of friends).
Suddenly, he’s emailed me on our anniversary, and has been emailing everyday. Yesterday he sent his telephone numbers. I didn’t call him.
Friends say he misses me. Is that true? Or is he just bored? Is it worth letting him come back?
Can he become nicer to me, respect and appreciate me, not take me for granted, and not leave me in second place?

- Questioning

You’re making a guessing game out of dealing with this guy, and listening to the wrong people without talking straight to him.
You reacted to gossip, instead of finding out whether his close relatives really didn’t like you, whether he spoke to them and stood up for you, and how much this affected his own feelings.
If you still care for him, respond to his outreach and ask - if the rumour was true - what they didn’t like about you and what he plans to do about their attitude if you dated again. Then, state that you’ll not put up with meanness from him.
If he repeats that behaviour, you’ll stop all contact permanently. Once assured, re-connect slowly. If you rush back into it, you give him tacit permission to treat you the same as before.

I’ve been married for 34 years and thought I had the perfect life – kids, home, and job.
My world shattered when my husband informed me he was having an affair with a co-worker, 43; he’s her boss. We went to marriage counselling, they still worked together, and I believed him when he said the affair was over.
But I discovered he was flirting with her online and my heart and trust flew out the window. He can’t understand why I don’t trust him and move forward with our marriage.
I’ve also had his mother staying with us for the last five years; she’s a lovely person but the reason he had the affair was we didn’t have any alone time.
Also, our son moved home two years ago when his wife left him. It was until he got back on his feet, which he now has. I feel used, humiliated, betrayed, and can’t function at work or at home because my mind won’t rest.
When I tried to talk to his co-worker, she wouldn’t give me the time of day.

- Confused

You need to talk to yourself, not to the other woman; then make a decision about how you want your next 20 years to look.
Yes, you were used, humiliated and betrayed: You got dumped with the needy relatives, while Hubby escaped in an affair. More counselling is needed for him to recognize how hurtful and unfair this has been, and that any further betrayals – even flirting – can bring down this shaky marriage.
Meantime, to work on it, you need to take control of your household to suit your needs. Your son must leave, and you and your husband need to have some weekend time alone, plus some date nights.
This “boss” can afford to hire a companion to stay with his Mom on the weekly night you two go out, and for periodic weekends. There are also respite care provisions available in many communities; he can contact local community agencies to find out how to arrange for this.

I haven’t had a girlfriend in two years. I have a lot of friends, including women, but whenever I find someone I like, I think she’s out of my league. I attract the crazy types, never the ones I want.
People say I look good, but women don’t exactly flock towards me. I tend to be an internal person, although I like varied activities.
How do I attract the type of women I like?

- No Matches

Too much analysis, not enough being natural.
Your women friends could well be the source of a future relationship, if only you didn’t pigeon-hole people, including the new females you meet.
Your attraction to “other-league” women indicates a superficial approach, based only on first meeting. Take time to get to know these women, be open to friendships that could possibly develop into something more, or create networks that can lead to meeting other potential dates.