I know it’s a rite of passage of parenting to fight with your children about bedtime, but it’s just exhausting. Is there a parenting expert who can help me? I start the bedtime routine right after I’ve cleaned up from dinner. I start the bath while the kids run around the house getting their sillies out. Then we laugh and splash around in the tub.
Getting out is calmer, quieter and we sing while I give them a gentle massage. We brush teeth, crawl into bed and read a few books. By then, they’re sleepy and I feel I can leave them to their dreams.
But moments later, one will yell down for water; and then mere minutes after that, one will say they need to use the washroom. I’ll put them back in their bed, stay with them for a while and again I’ll be duped into thinking they’re almost asleep.
I’ll sit down in front of the TV, with a cup of tea, for some very deserved me time, and within minutes (maybe half an hour), someone’s up – they can’t sleep; they have a tummy ache; there’s a monster in their room; there are noises; they just want to cuddle; they’re hungry, and a thousand excuses more.
I love my kids more than anything and want to always be there for them. But can’t they just go the &^%$#$%^&&* to sleep?!?
Exhausted Mama
Adam Mansbach wrote a book entitled “Go the F--- to Sleep,” in 2011. You can hear it on YouTube narrated by Samuel L. Jackson. I think you’ll appreciate knowing that you are, BY FAR, not alone in your endeavours AND your frustration.
You’re doing all the right things, by creating a bedtime routine that’s calming. If you haven’t already, try keeping the routine at a consistent time. Also, shut down all electronics a good half-hour before you start your routine (which sounds as though it also takes a half-hour).
If this still doesn’t work, analyze how much napping they’re doing during the day, their caffeine and sugar intake, and the amount of physical exercise they’re getting.
If none of the above show any marked changes, you may need to consult a sleep expert. There are many.
I have a work event in Las Vegas in about a month and I am panicking! I was never a great flyer. Then COVID allowed me the unjudged space NOT to fly. But now that people are flying again, I don’t have a good excuse.
Fast forward to the crash that occurred in Washington, D.C. between a passenger plane (carrying young teenagers!) and an army helicopter, in which everyone was killed, and I’m afraid to even think about getting on an airplane.
More recently, a plane flipped upside down on landing in Toronto. And now, with all the customs issues we’re hearing about, I’m afraid to cross the border.
How do I get out of this work event and still keep my job?
Infrequent Flyer
It’s not surprising that your anxiety levels are high with everything going on in the world of aviation and border crossings. According to news sources, both of those scary incidents were one-offs, and the latter highlighted the skills of the pilot in getting everyone out safely.
The border crossing is an issue these days, one that many Canadians are feeling anxious over. I don’t think anyone knows what to say or do. However, if the fears of the unknown are too overwhelming for you, and your anxiety is off the charts, you need to discuss these issues with your direct supervisor. You might also benefit from seeing a therapist.
FEEDBACK Regarding the Snow Bored retiree (Jan. 28):
Reader – “I’m newly retired; I went from being surrounded by hundreds of people to just me. But retiring while young is a gift and one that shouldn’t be wasted.
“Please encourage retired folks to seek out an interest in their community. I volunteer weekly for an organization that supports families with children who require medical treatment in Toronto. I’m a volunteer usher at two local theatres. And I’m restarting a writing career that went dormant due to work demands.
“We’re ageing differently than previous generations. Having a purpose for getting out of bed and out of the house is crucial as we age. Nurturing a positive social environment is vital to brain health and mental wellness. I've met some terrific people through volunteering and have made friendships I truly value. I'm around folks of all ages and feel that I am situationally, a mentor, a learner and a contributor.”