I recently came out of a two-year-plus relationship; our daughter is 20-months and I’ve just had a chance to start seeing her regularly.

I still have strong feelings towards her mother. Our relationship was rocky but I may have been to blame for instigating some of the fights. They always ended with me leaving, then coming back in a few days.

I have two sons from my first marriage and my ex had a daughter from someone else who wasn't in the picture any more. My ex’s oldest child gave me a gift and a note saying that she and the others all missed me very much. However, my ex wouldn't accept my boys into our life together. I don't know why – they got along great with her child.

I still feel there’s a connection between us… is it just because of our daughter and how much her older child misses me?

I feel like asking my ex if she’d consider working on things but with heavy counselling involved. I feel she needs counselling, too, because of the way she’s handled all her past relationships with men.

Also, I fear her mother influenced her and fuelled the fire.

- Confused

There’s no harm in asking… but make it clear that you understand you both need couples’ counselling to make this work. If you focus on HER past patterns, she’ll feel blamed and lash back into your old fights.

Even if part of your motive for trying again is on behalf of the children, that’s okay, so long as you two both agree to give it a true effort, and to examine together why things went wrong before. For example, if she refuses to change anything about the way she treated your other children that’s unacceptable. As a parent, you need to speak up for your kids and include them in your life.

An experienced therapist will be able to help her explore why she’s rejecting innocent youngsters – whether it’s an insecurity that they’ll take precedence for your attention, fear of involvement with others (your previous ex), etc.

Trying to “blend” a family of several children from past relationships isn’t easy, but is worth a second chance for everyone’s sake.

I recently started dating a co-worker; we’re crazy about each other. We haven’t told anyone at work because we aren’t sure if it’s allowed. We work different shifts, but if we do see each other at work we maintain a professional relationship.

However, we’re nervous that we might lose our jobs!

Can a company fire an employee for dating a co-worker?

- Happy but Scared

If the company’s policy is clear on no dating between employees, and if you agreed to work there knowing the company had policies which you could’ve read (even if you didn’t), the bosses have a case to consider firing one or both of you.

Be pro-active and speak to your supervisor, explaining that this happened and you are on different shifts, and conscious of maintaining professionalism. Most bosses will appreciate being told this information – far more than hearing it through rumours - and will work something out to keep you both on staff.

Be prepared that one of you may have to switch to a different department, and/or that, in some companies, it won’t be accepted for one of you to ever be in a position that one reports to the other.

My past relationship of four years has ended due to repeated trust issues, since he cheated on me and I invaded his privacy to find out about the cheating.

He says that he loves me and wants to build a family with me, but he hasn’t stopped cheating.

We both have children from previous relationships, and still pick up one another's children.

I still love him and find it hard to let go.

- How do I heal?

You cannot heal if you stay in a relationship in which he’s still cheating and you do not accept this as a way of life. Some people make peace with the fact of living with “a player”, but you remain wounded and continue to not trust him.

You’d be demeaning yourself and showing both sets of children a crummy model for future family life.

You left for good reason. You’ll heal this way.