My girlfriend and I are colleagues and friends for two years, who’re now in a great relationship for six months; we’re open regarding our thoughts, emotions and what we want from this relationship. Is it unusual that we haven’t fought yet?
I do have one concern – she’s self-conscious of her body. During sex she forbids me from looking at certain areas of her body. It’s become very frustrating and a turn off.
She knows there’s a problem but when I ask her to talk about it, she changes the subject. I love her so very much.

- Hidden Places

It’s about intimacy… you haven’t got it yet, though you have verbal closeness, and physical sex.
Your “openness” is only the superficial start of sharing; when it comes to being naked of soul and body, your girlfriend holds back: evidence - she won’t discuss the one problem between you. In relationship timing, these are still early days, so there’s hope she’ll relax over time, and through un-pressured cuddling and ever-growing trust.
If not, then six months from now she should be willing to talk to a therapist about her body image and how it’s affecting her relationship with you. I suspect it affects her self-image in other areas, too; so counselling isn’t just to please you, but to build her confidence in all areas.

After a painful breakup three months ago, my family and friends have been INCREDIBLY supportive; yet, though I’m doing things to feel normal, I’m still SO angry. I never got closure when it ended, and I’d been deeply in love.
He couldn’t resolve his issues and finally just avoided me and cut off contact, without even a “sorry” - NOTHING. He promised to “fix” his issues (his family’s prejudice against my ethnic background and middle-class standing).
Now, I don’t want anything to do with him, but the anger causes me to lash out at the people who’ve been my greatest strength. I did send him an email telling him how upset I was.
How do I get over feeling so angry and betrayed? I’m angry that he could just suddenly abandon dreams he’d been promising until even the day before, and also angry that he could not stand up to racist attitudes and be a man.

- Anger-filled

Your anger is really at yourself, for not recognizing sooner that his “issues” were a basic character flaw called WEAKNESS. You’re mortified at your own too-late insight about this, furious at having to be dumped and devastated before you could see clearly.
NOW, consider how much angrier you’d be if you’d married the jerk, only to have him still caving in to his family’s racism, and not standing up for you!
Be grateful the break-up happened sooner, be grateful to those who’ve stood by you, and use all that anger for “good.” How? Get energized, and empowered, vowing to never again indulge a guy who doesn’t show you full respect and support.
And apologize to any of your own family and friends who’ve been the butt of your anger. You need them.

How do I stop people from asking intrusive questions, such as whether I’m pregnant, trying to get pregnant, still breast-feeding the one-year-old, etc?
Ever since I got married, it seems everyone I know feels entitled to ask all my personal details!

- Fed Up

Have a stock answer, such as: “I feel personal decisions should be kept personal, but I’ll let you know when there’s something public to say.” Repeat often.

My boss is vindictive and mean; she’s always threatening, intimidating or warning employees about possible disciplinary actions.
Recently, she wrongly accused me of something; she has it in for me daily. She’s in a relationship with our department head, so our complaints to superiors fall on deaf ears. Instead, they target employees who voice concerns, harass them and force them to quit.
Also, the head of Human Resources is their friend, who’s passed complaints right back to my boss. The stress is affecting my life and relationships; but because of the economy, I’ve been unable to find work elsewhere.

- Worried Worker

1) Gather signed employee statements of complaints and present these to the “top” boss, plus details of the alliance between these two and HR. Hopefully, there’ll be a positive response to a group protest.
OR, 2) Focus on doing your job, avoid confrontation, and look more broadly for work elsewhere.