My husband has become a cycling nut and he’s gone for hours every weekend. We have a three-year-old, so I’m left at home, when I’d like to have family time
since we both work. He says the exercise is vital to his energy level and good spirits.
It’s true that he’s more helpful at home, but only after he eats and has a nap (or he’s exhausted), so that’s more time for me on my own.
He’s also more interested in sex, which is fine for him, but I’m tired from being alone with our daughter most of the day.
I’m finding myself whining at him about the biking, the chores, everything. How do I handle this?
Stop whining and get into the fun of fitness; both you and Hubby can budget for a Mommy bike, with a child seat.
You and your daughter can get on the bike while he’s off on a serious tour; then meet later at a park. Pack sandwiches, a blanket for resting awhile,
let chores wait till after.
Once you shed your resentment, discuss an equitable timetable for sharing interests and responsibilities, i.e. exercise, child-rearing, household
Since greater fitness will undoubtedly boost your own sexual energy, you two should soon be able to work out a more satisfying schedule.
I’m sure my friend’s wife is having an affair. She’s flirted with me, I pretended I didn’t get it, and never told my friend.
Now, he says she’s “working late” a lot, and he can’t go out with the guys because he has to babysit.
Should I tell him to start investigating because she’s a born flirt?
He knows that he married a born flirt and won’t appreciate hearing it from you. He may also know reasons why she needs to work late, or have his own
suspicions, or he may even “know” something and not want to pursue it.
Mind your own business.
My younger sister and I are always in conflict over something, though sometimes I don’t even know the reason. She’ll just not respond to my phone calls or emails, for weeks, even months.
We live in the same city, are both married and have children. Though I invite her and her family for every possible occasion, send cards and gifts when I should, suggest we meet for lunch or go shopping together, she rarely thanks me or gets together with me. This has been going on since we’re teenagers, and we’re now both in our 40s!
I’ve always felt it my responsibility as the older sister to repair this relationship, but I can’t even get a chance.
Little Sis doesn’t want you to “fix” things between you; she wants to go it on her own.
Your commendable efforts to be a good Big Sis are likely what turns her off… this could be a sibling rivalry thing from years before, that she just
can’t get past. It may even have her interpreting your efforts as intrusive, bossy, goody-goody, whatever.
Don’t try so hard. Cool the invitations for a while, except to occasionally call and say a simple “hello,” and cheery “how are you?”
If you get to talk, ask only about her, how the kids are doing, what’s new, etc. Nothing about you, or urgings to get together. Hopefully, when she
feels she’s an equal – and not someone you’re obliged to take care of – she’ll be more open to your calls and company.
My neighbour’s lawn is a disaster; she’s a widow so doing all the lawn-care herself may be too much work, or maybe she can’t afford a helper.
I’m a middle-aged man who’s recently separated, but staying in the house as my ex went back to her homeland.
I’m a very good gardener so it bothers me to have an unsightly lawn bordering mine. But is it inappropriate for me, living alone, to approach this
woman (attractive, my age) about her lawn, and offer to care for it?
Your concern about “appropriateness” indicates some hope of reaping more than grass cuttings. Be specific about your offer and if there’s any “price”
attached – whether real or in the form of expectations.
If there’s been no previous contact between you other than neighbourly nods, it’s emotionally risky to attempt any build-up to a relationship, so close to the sanctuary of home.
Tip of the day:
When a partner finds fitness and fun, it’s a lot healthier to join, than to brood with resentment.